Probably Wouldn't Be This Way
by what-if-happens
Summary: Living after the greatest love you have ever known can be the hardest thing for you to do. And giving love a second chance after is even harder. That is exactly what Troy Bolton is trying to do. And not let his past actions interfere with his future ones.
1. Code: Lollipops and Candy Canes

**AN: So this is my new story, it is a little different, I am really nervous about it, so I would always love to hear from my readers on what you think. If it is good tell me and if it is bad tell me too, I don't mind hearing it as long as you tell why you don't like it or what would improve it. If you have any questions, I would be glad to answer them unless it will be answered in the story and then I will tell you to just have a little patience. Actions starts fast – to me at least – with a lot of stuff happening in this first chapter. The chapters are a little bit longer than usual, so it may take me a little more time to update than it usually does.**

Chapter 1

_Rain was crashing on the ground. No one was outside due to the horrible storm. Except two young lovers kissing under a street lamp. "We were running home," the boy shouted over the rain._

"_We were? We were!" the girl shouted back. She took his hand and they started to run again down the block. They slipped up to a door with lights shining though the windows to the side._

_The girl opened the door to the house. They tumbled in laughing joyously. "Stay on the towel there please, you'll get everything else wet other wise," said her father from the living room off to the left. "Didn't I say get home before the storm came in?"_

"_Sorry daddy," the girl said._

"_Stay there, I'll get you each a towel and some clothes," the father got up from the couch._

_A loud gulping sound came from a chair that was facing the opposite direction from them where a woman was sitting. "Dad what's wrong with mom?" The girl asked starting to move._

"_Stay there, you need out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold," the father said before disappearing up the steps._

"_We should take off out shoes," The boy said slipping off his own and the girl followed in suit. "It's all going to be ok," he whispered standing behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. He pressed a kiss to the back of her shoulder before leaning his forehead against it. She leaned back into him while they awaited the return of her father._

_The father came down a few minutes later handing them each a towel and some dry clothes to wear. The two teens dried off quickly before going to separate bathrooms to change in. "What's wrong with mom?" The girls wasted no time once she and the boy were back in the living room together._

"_Please listen to everything I say, sweetheart, ok," The father said, hesitating._

"_Dad, tell me what is going on," the girl demanded._

"_Honey, in two weeks when school ends we are moving to Michigan. Listen to me, Grandma Ruth had a stroke this morning and we think it would be best if you go there to take care of her rather then putting her in a home," Her father said quickly. His voice cracked slightly, but he kept it steady as he continued, "Uncle Robert is taking care of selling the house. Mom is leaving tomorrow morning to go up there while me and you pack up the house and leave the day after school ends. Please, baby, don't do anything rash," he was cut off as the girl dashed out of the house and into the rain once more. _

_The boy didn't take a second look as he ran out the door after her. He didn't need to shout her name to find her or know where she was going. He already knew, there would be just one place she would go. He looked up and down the street before crossing it and continued running down the sidewalk._

_There under a great oak tree in a small park nestled between the houses, she had thrown herself on the ground as her teardrops mixed with the rain. The boy knew he didn't need to say anything to let her know he was there. "I am not going. I am never leaving," she cried. He wrapped himself around her small figure silently._

"_No way, no how am I ever leaving. I am not leaving you or the school or our friends or this tree or the little ice cream parlor. I am staying right here, now and forever with you," She continued to cry into his already drenched shirt._

_He hushed her and just held on to her tightly. She cried, mumbling a few words now and then, none of the understandable. He was thankful for the rain. Then no one could tell the tears he had running down his face also. They were some of the first ones he had ever shed, but in no way would they ever be close to the last ones he would let roll down his face. "I am never letting you go," he whispered in her ear. "Ever."_

"_Can I stay with you tonight?" she asked even though there was no need to._

"_Of course babe, of course," he said. They stayed a while there under the tree. _

_There was a flash of lightning then a loud boom of thunder-_

Troy Bolton fell out of his bed with a loud crash. Not the first time he had ever done that. There came a shout from his parents' room across the hall. He rubbed his eyes and felt that they were not dry. He wiped off his face seconds before his dad turned on his light and looked at him, "What happen?" his dad asked.

"Just fell out of bed dad," Troy said pulling himself up and got back into bed.

"You sure you are ok?" Jack asked.

"A bump or bruise maybe but I'm ok," Troy faked a smile.

"Ok, good night son," Jack turned off the light and the house went back to sleep.

-------------------------

"Troy!" Chad yelled later that morning as Troy walked in the doors of East High.

"Hey dude," Troy said quietly.

"I know I don't even have to ask to know what kind of day it is," Chad said, "You know you don't look to good, you sleep ok?"

"Nah, of course not. Bad dream, fell out of bed even with my talent," Troy said, "So you know, the usual lollipops and candy canes."

Chad nodded his head understanding exactly what Troy meant, translating each of his words, "You really need to start dreaming of summertime rather than those stormy days."

"Yeah," Troy said still rather subdued, "I hate rain."

"I know you do dude, I know. Now come on, we have to get to homeroom where you have a pretty girl waiting on you and so do I, so what are we waiting for?" Chad said oddly excited.

"For you to finish that sentence," Troy said and the two boys journeyed to their homeroom.

Troy took his seat quickly and sat rather hunched over. Chad sat down too and as the bell rang he started to quickly scribble a note. Chad tried to pass it off to Zeke, but was caught, "Bring it here Mr. Danforth," Darbus said. Chad didn't really care as he took up to her. Darbus opened the not and started to read it, "Zeke," she read, "Don't for get that today is a cotton candy day and it's on lollipops and candy canes. Pass on to Jason." Darbus looked up at the three boys, "This is totally absurd."

"Made sense to me," Chad said.

"I got it," Zeke added.

"Yeah, perfect sense to me," Jason nodded.

"What is it, some type of code?" Darbus asked.

"Only if you take more than one meaning from it," Chad said.

"Detention for all of you," Darbus said.

"What? No! You can't do that!" Troy exclaimed.

"That will earn you a detention too, Mr. Bolton," Darbus said, "Any one else?"

"But," Troy couldn't find the words or rather the excuse.

"I don't care if your grandmother is in the hospital, you are mine today after school," Darbus said, "Our stage needs a good cleaning. Is that understood?"

Troy looked sideways out the window and then down at his hand, "Understood," he said rather meekly. Chad looked at his friend hunched over in his chair before shooting a venomous glare at the teacher.

The bell rang a few long moments later and Troy was the first out the door. "Troy!" Chad yelled after him, but he was gone.

"Troy!" now a female voice called after him. He did turn around to see Gabriella coming towards him, "Are you ok?" she asked when she had caught up him.

"Yeah, I just don't want to tell my dad I have detention," Troy said. He wrapped an arm around her waist tentatively as they started to walk down the hall.

"Is that it, you really seem out of it," she continued.

"Just a bad night, bad dream, fell out of bed even," Troy said, "But I'm fine." He didn't look her in the eye, knowing that he wasn't telling her everything, like he hadn't for the past four months after they had gotten together in February, and you could even stretch it back to when she first came to the school in January.

"Ok," she nodded. She could tell that there was something that he wasn't telling her. And for now, for just a little while longer it was ok. She wanted him to talk to her, but wasn't quite ready to push him on it. But he always seemed to be hiding something and not telling her the whole truth. And she had not a clue as to what it was.

"Come on, I need to talk to you," Chad said pulling Troy away and into the nearest bathroom. It was luckily empty so he locked the door. "Troy," he said.

"I am fine dude, you are making us look weird. I am totally fine, I swear," Troy said, though not looking at his friend.

"Just take yourself to the nurse and go home. You should have never even attempted to come to school," Chad said.

"I can't go home, I didn't drive today, and besides no one is there," Troy said, "And I am ok. I am not going to."

"Man, stop pretending you are ok, you can't lie to me, I know you are not. Just hang out in your dad's office or something, but don't be in school. I know what today is. I know how your night was last night. Stop faking," Chad said.

"I am pathetic," Troy said looking at himself in a mirror.

"No your not. It is the 15th and it was Andy. It is Andy."

"Why does this day have to exist?"

"I just don't know, now we have to get to class, and I am getting you out of detention," Chad said unlocking the door and the boys walked out.

"I am still pathetic," Troy said in the hallway.

"No you're not dude so stop saying that," Chad said.

"I am," Troy said as they hurried to their next class. They slid into their seats just as the bell rang signally the start of class.

"And I am suppose to tell you that the girls want to go out Friday," Chad whispered.

-------------------

Troy cringed during free period as he told his dad he had detention. He opted to go first since it was his dad. Jack was mad, but didn't show it. He would have showed it and yelled at them any other day of the year, but not today.

"Hey, Troy, what's that on your arm?" Gabriella asked at lunch, pointing to a newly formed bruise.

"Product of my falling out of bed this morning," Troy said.

She looked at him, not ready to believe him, "Trust him, that guy can fall out of a bed. Must have done it a dozen times in the years I've known him. Even if it was surrounded on all sides, he's still find a way to fall out," Chad said sitting down at the table.

"Like a crib?" Taylor asked.

"Yeah," Chad said, "Like there was this one time when we were eight…um…" He caught a glare from Troy, "That's a bad example, just trust me, that guy can fall out of bed pretty easily."

"My one true talent," Troy smiled almost a true smile.

"So Friday?" Taylor said.

"That's tomorrow," Chad interrupted.

"Yes tomorrow, I thought that we could maybe go to that pizza place downtown and then maybe screw around some or walk around maybe you know," Taylor continued.

Gabriella nodded in agreement, "You up for it dude?" Chad asked Troy.

"Yeah, totally," Troy nodded, "As long as I don't have another bad night, you know the lollipops and candy canes."

"Or a cotton candy day," Chad said laughing.

"Not tomorrow," Troy laughed a little surprisingly.

"Do you get that?" Taylor asked, "Cause I don't."

"Me neither," Gabriella said.

"Sort of an inside joke," Troy said.

"I want to be on the inside," Taylor said.

"Me too," Gabriella added.

"Trust me when I tell you, you don't want to be, its like Hades in here," Chad said.

"You are wanting an awful want of trust to day," Taylor commented.

"You may know someday, maybe, but not today," Troy said. The girls looked rather put out and they both crossed their arms.

"It is one of those things where you don't want to be on the inside," Chad said.

"Yeah, I'd much rather be on the outside," Troy said.

"What about Zeke and Jason, why do they get to know?" Gabriella asked.

"They don't, not really. They are sort of in limbo between the inside and outside. They get the gist of it but not all of it," Chad said.

"Did Chad just use the word limbo?" Taylor asked.

"And gist?" Gabriella added.

"Shut up," Chad said, "Come on back me up dude," Chad turned to Troy. But Troy was off in his own little world, and it was doubtful anyone could pull him out of it and back to this one.

-------------------------

Chad was desperately trying to find Troy after school before going to detention. He found Troy just about to open the door to the theatre for detention, "Troy! Stop, don't go in there!" Chad shouted at him. "Don't go in," he pulled Troy away from the door.

"What?" Troy looked at him.

"Don't go in. Take my car, do your thing, don't get me a ticket or in a wreck. I will cover for you. I'll tell her that you will do it tomorrow morning before school. And I will tell your dad. Now get out of here and go do whatever you have to do," Chad said pulling out his keys and pushing them into Troy's hand, "I'll catch a ride with Jase or Zeke, now go!"

"Chad?" Troy looked at him.

"Take them and go, get out of here. May 15th only happens once a year, now go!" Chad pushed Troy in the direction of the door.

"Thanks dude, I own you," Troy said.

"No you don't, now leave, get out of here," Chad said before disappearing into the theatre. Troy went out to the student lot and quickly found Chad's car. He made up his mind of where he was going first. He pulled out of the student lot and drove away from the school down the street. He took a left at a big yellow house. Then he took a right at the second stop sign. He turned left at the top of the hill and then slowly rolled up to a modest white house. He pulled over to the side of the road to take a long look at the very familiar house. He shifted into park then looked up at the window on the second floor, the second one to the right. Also a very familiar place.

He knew he couldn't hang around here too long with out someone getting suspicious. He took another long glance at the house before shifting gears again into drive and pulling back onto the road. He drove down the street and the turned to get onto a main road. He drove to the downtown area and quickly found the place he was looking for. An old run down ice cream parlor surprisingly still in business. A bell tinkled as he opened the door. He had no need to look at the menu. He ordered a hot fudge sundae and took it back out to Chad's car. He ate it slowly in the driver's seat before tossing to into the backseat that was full of trash so Chad wouldn't even notice.

He stared at nothing trying to make himself go to the last place he knew he had to visit on this day. It would be the only day of the year he could ever go there. "And sing me home to you," he said softly as he started the engine. He had only one thing on his mind as he drove through the streets.

He pulled up in front of a small park that was surrounded by houses. There was one great big oak tree in the exact center of it. He opened the door and slowly exited the car, never once taking his eyes off the massive tree. He closed the door and locked the car and just stood there looking at the place. He chewed his bottom lip for a second before slowly making his way to the tree. It still looked the same, not that he thought it would look any different after a year of not seeing it. And it hadn't changed any from the two years ago when he used to spend almost every night beneath it. It would never change and for that Troy was grateful. He collapsed beneath, "Andy, Andy, Andy," he said softly. "Sweet Adeline, what ever happened to you?" A few silent tears swept down the side of his face and into his shaggy hair by his ears. "We had it all Addie, we had everything. We were ready, ready for anything. Just live on the love and never needing anything more."

He covered his face with his hands and wiped away the tears that he was still silently crying. "Why God, why did she have to leave? WHY?" He yelled into the afternoon. "We had found it! We had it all figured out. And you took it all away! Why! Why did you have to take Addie? What is wrong with New Mexico? The state was perfect in everyway until you swept her away to Michigan. The stupid state with the stupid lakes, and not here." His tears were no longer silent as he pulled up a tuft of grass and threw it in the air.

"Why does this day have to exist? Why can't we just skip over it from the 14th to the 16th? Just erase the day from existence, nothing good can come from it, only hurt and pain. I hate it! I hate everything it's done to me. Left me with nothing. I HATE IT!" he yelled. He hit the ground with his fist and rolled over to his stomach. Folding his arms to lay his head on as he sobbed. He cried on the ground for a while until the tears didn't come anymore. He hiccupped a few times.

"If you could just see me now Addie," he said. "Just look at me now." He lay in silence for a while, mad at the world and sad as could be, and still was completely emotionless. The silence consumed him and drove him just a little crazy. And he started to make random noises to block out the silence. He was humming before he was singing softly.

"Miles away and I can still hear him 

_Miles away and I can still hear him_

_As he picks up that old guitar and starts to play_

_Plucking away at that old melody_

_Must have played it a million times before_

_And he stars to sing along_

_And I can't resist it anymore_

_So keep on playin' my sweet boy, keep on playin'_

_Sing that old song that we both know_

_And I will soon find my way back to you_

_As you hum that old tune my sweet, sweet boy_

_And sing me home to you_

_Sing me home to you _

"Addie, I don't know if you can hear me all those miles away. If I could hear you just one more times. Just to tell me your ok. So then maybe I could be ok too. You know, maybe help me out a little that way only you can do. You are probably livin' it up there in Michigan. But I don't really care. I just want to hear you again, see you one last time, Addie. Because, God, I miss you. And it hurts like hell some days. And there is nothing anyone can do. Not me, not my parents, not even Chad can help me. And I sound so pathetic now.

"But nothing can help a person when they aren't a person anymore after they have lost almost everything. And that is who I am Addie. You never gave me everything back. I am still missing most of myself. I want it back! I need it back just so I can have a chance at being me again.

"And, well, I would and should tell. There is this girl, Gabriella. I like her, but I have nothing I can give her, there is nothing of me I can share with her because you took it all. And I wish that is something of me left to give her, but there isn't. You stole it all! Well, it wasn't really stealing. I gave it to you, because you weren't supposes to leave. I really wished you hadn't. That you hadn't left and took everything of me with you. Gabriella is a good person. You really would have liked her; at least I think you would have. I hope you would have. East High is so different now and without you. And now all that I have left there is senior year. Without you.

"I won't do anything that we had ever planned to do, like tee-peeing the office and gym and a few other places. I won't carve my name into the principal's desk the day of graduation. I won't stage a water balloon fight the day before spring break. I won't spray paint the cafeteria tables. I won't pull the fire alarm on senior's last day. I won't be singing Christmas carols on the last day before winter break. I won't do any of the things we said we would do to make our senior year the absolute best year of our lives or at least of our high school lives. Nothing is going to happen," he said with just a couple tears finding their way to the surface.

He lay under that tree for the longest of times. He counted every leaf and every branch. He found near the bottom of the tree on the inside of a root, hidden from the world and impossible to find unless you knew it was there, _Sing Me Home To You_ and traced each and every letter with his finger. He remembered carving it in there with his dad's pocketknife on the last day of school almost two years ago. And the familiar song that he had heard sung every summer played in his head. The one only two people knew the words to and one of those people was him. The other hadn't been near that tree for nearly two years now.

He didn't know how long he had been there when Chad came along. Chad walked up and looked at him for a moment, knowing that Troy didn't know he was there. Chad had to take a deep breath before he was able to approach. He pulled Troy up and looked at him. Their faces mirrored one another with a cheerless look. Yes, these two boys had been through everything together with the climax of every year that day. Chad picked up his car keys that had been thrown on the ground. Troy was in a daze all the way to his house and still once inside it. He departed for bed early that night and each body in that house prayed he would have a dreamless sleep, but each knowing that wouldn't be the case.

-------------------------

**AN: So that is it. Yeah, so a little different, but you basically know everything. The story is about learning to live after love and maybe even giving it another shot. Please leave me a review telling me what you think, good or bad, either is fine. I am still very iffy about this story and hearing what other people think really helps me. I hope to post the second chapter tomorrow and I hope you will continue to read my story.**


	2. Code: Butterflies and Daisies

**AN: Ok, so here is the next chapter to try and explain a few more things to you. Not quite as long as before, but I promise, and know the next one is longer again like the first one.**

Chapter 2

The next day felt surprisingly good to Troy. Though to him, good was all relative. He was walking around the downtown area with Gabriella, Chad and Taylor looking for a pizza place that seemed to elude them as they had drove what seemed to be all around downtown together in Chad's car. "There it is," Chad said finally pointing it out, "How did we miss it?"

"We didn't drive down this street," Troy said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Lets eat, I am starving," Gabriella said, the others looked at her, "What just because I am a girl doesn't mean I don't have an appetite." Troy smiled at her and pulled her in close beside him and kissed her temple, "You better be on my side."

"I'm always on your side," he said.

"Me too," Taylor said.

"Me three," Chad mocked and got a whack on the head from Taylor, "OW!"

"You weren't when it came to the musical," Gabriella pointed out.

"It was a fluke," Taylor said as they entered the restaurant and were quickly seating. They ordered the drinks and the girls went to picking out what kind of pizza they would order knowing that the boys would eat anything.

"Hey, you are having a good day today aren't you?" Chad asked Troy quietly.

"Good is all relative now, but relatively yes, it is a good day or as good as it is ever gonna get," Troy said, "Now shut up about it."

"I am just asking it is the 16th, that is one day after the 15th, and you are looking good," Chad said.

"I didn't know you swung that way dude," Troy reiterated.

Chad held up his hands in defense, "Maybe we should and in our two cents."

"We are paying for it, maybe we should," Troy nodded.

"But we won't," Chad said laughing, and Troy forced a few out too.

This did catch the girls' attention, "What's so funny," Taylor asked.

"Nothing, just the fact that we don't have a say in what is ordered," Chad said.

"You'll eat anything, you even said so," Gabriella reminded them.

"True, so what are we ordering?" Troy asked.

At the exact same time, the waitress came up and asked the same thing at the same time as Troy. The girls told her what they wanted then looked at the boys, "Do we need to repeat it?" Gabriella asked.

"I got it," Chad said.

"Me too," Troy said. There came a buzzing from his pocket as his phone vibrated. "Sorry," he said pulling out his phone and flipping it open, "Hello?" He asked not bothering to look at the caller id. The whole table heard his mother scream his full name. "Hi mom," he said uneasily.

"Where the hell are you?" She asked hotly.

"Out with Chad and the girls, I told you this," Troy said, looking around at the table.

"No you did not. I was worried sick. Now I want to talk to Chad," She said.

"She wants to talk to you," Troy said handing the phone across the table to Chad who was seated opposite of him. The girls found this quite strange.

"Hi Sara," Chad said. He waited a moment as Mrs. Bolton said something. "Yeah, right here across from me, we're at the pizza place on 3rd street." He waited a few more seconds before saying, "I would answer that with Robin Hood." Another pause, "Ok, cool, here's Troy," Chad handed Troy back his phone.

"Mom, I thought I told that I was doing this tonight," Troy said.

"You thought wrong. You could have been God knows where doing who know what even something stupid and…"

"I am not. I am fine. I will be home by curfew, now stop worrying so much. I am totally fine, I swear," Troy cut in.

"10:30 mister, you better be in this house," His mom hung up the phone and Troy did too. Troy sighed and shook his head as he stuffed his phone back in his pocket.

"What was that about," Gabriella asked.

"Apparently I didn't tell my mom that this is what I was doing tonight and she is an over-worry mode lately so she started freaking out. So it means I told her only like three times when it should have been like five times. She's a little crazy right now," Troy explained. Chad was shaking his head at Troy telling him he had screwed up yet again as he always seemed to do. It was like the one thing Troy was good at besides falling out of bed at night was screwing up.

"And what was with the Robin Hood comment Chad?" Taylor asked.

"Just a little inside joke between me and Troy's mom," Chad said, "Its been going on for the last few years I think," – truth almost – "I don't even remember how it started," – lie – " or really when it started," – lie again – "It is just something in all our conversations now," – almost truth again. Troy looked at his hands. He didn't really understand it all, but he knew that they were talking about him.

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Saturday was cleaning day at the Bolton household. They cleaned everything, and once a month they went through everything looking for unneeded stuff they could give away to good will or any other charity that called them. And today happened to be one of those cleaning out days. "Troy, tell me you cleaned you room and that is the truth," His mother said from the kitchen.

"I did," He said, she had already asked him that five times before.

"Ok, then clean out the living room closet, there is a big yellow trash bag in there to put anything that can be donated right by the door, and don't forget to mark where it came from," Sara said.

"Ok mom," Troy walked into the living room and sure enough, there was a big yellow trash bag in the middle of the floor. Troy opened the closet door and looked in it. Any coats or jackets that were ever used were on the left and the old ones no longer worn were on the left. That made things pretty easy for Troy.

After sorting out all the coats and jackets, Troy turned to a shelf that had scarves and gloves piled on that was totally a mess. He took everything off it and started sorting through everything, finding pairs for gloves and some hat and scarves that match together. Troy liked cleaning. It was easy and simple and always there to do. Nothing else could bother him and worries started to slip away while he did so.

He sorted through the stuff laying on the floor, which included some old backpacks, a throw pillow, a few old lunch boxes with sports painted on the front, and then about seven boxes that Troy didn't know what was in. He pulled them all out and reached to open one when his mom entered the room and said, "Don't open them. It's nothing important, just put them all back in there in the corner."

"Are you hiding some secret in here or something mom?" Troy looked at her strangely. It had now struck his curiosity as to what was in the boxes.

"No I don't, now just put them back," She said rather sternly.

Jack was coming down the stairs to the room, "Dad, what are in these boxes?" Troy asked.

"Pictures, Jack said simply.

Troy quickly translated what his dad meant when he said pictures, or rather, what would be in said pictures.

"We have always taken a ton of them, where do you think they all went?" Jack said. He wasn't into babying Troy as much as Sara did and Jack hadn't been one to worry as much.

"Ok," Troy said. He put back all the boxes in the closet and the other things that they would be keeping. He could hear his parents whispering an argument.

"You didn't have to tell him what was in there," Sara said.

"Why not, he didn't look in them, now he knows. It is not going to bother him," Jack said.

"We had the 15th this week, anything could bother him."

"He was fine yesterday when he went out. You saw the goodbye he and Gabriella had," Jack said.

"And we both know everything can change just like that," Sara said snapping her fingers.

"Just give him some space, overcrowding him won't help any either."

"At least I know he is ok then."

"And you'll still know it from a few feet away."

"He is my baby boy, Jack, I am suppose to worry."

"He is seventeen now."

"I don't care if he's eighty, he'll always be my baby boy."

Troy finished putting everything in the plastic bag and went into kitchen to grab a marker and his parents immediately stopped talking. He wrote 'living room closet' on the bag and then took the marker back into the kitchen. "You know I am ok, I'm fine, and I will be in my room," he told them.

"Don't close the door," Sara told his back.

"I won't," Troy turned to look at her, "Dad's right stop worrying so much." He then disappeared into his room.

"We are locking that cabinet, and I mean now Jack," Sara said.

"I really don't think it is necessary," Jack said.

"We should always keep it locked."

"You heard him, he is fine and he is not an idiot."

"We believe that once before and you know where that got us," Sara said before walking off. Jack looked at his wife back, knowing she was right. He sighed and did as he was told.

-------------------------

Later that night when his parents were asleep, Troy snuck down to the living room and opened the closet. He pulled out on of the nearest boxes. He had grabbed a flashlight from the kitchen where one sat on top of the refrigerator. He turned it on and opened the box. There were hundreds of photos in the box, all in little groups held together with rubber bands. He picked one up off the top that had him in his basketball uniform; a JV uniform by the looks meaning it was freshman year. He took off the rubber band and flipped through the pictures. There was some of him in his uniform and with Chad. There were tons of him during the game. And then the last one showed him, Chad and Andy standing in center court after the game, pointing at the scoreboard to show them winning.

He put the rubber band back on and found a Christmas pile that looked to be around the same year. It had a picture of the Christmas tree with all the presents under it, then some of Troy opening presents and then a big group photo of The Boltons, Chad's family and Andy's family in front of the Bolton's tree. Then individual family photos in front of the tree, then pictures of the kids. There was a nice one of the three kids, then one with funny faces. One had Troy and Chad shooting fake basketballs. One had Chad and Andy screwing around. One of Troy and Andy looking like they were about to kiss, and if Troy remembered right, they did right after the photo was taken. It had a picture of some mistletoe hanging from a doorway. It was followed by a lot of pictures of Troy and Andy beneath it. There was one of each set of parents beneath it. Then one of Chad and Andy where Chad was kissing her forehead. The last was of Chad and Troy beneath it giving each other strange looks. Troy remembered that Andy saw them and pointed it out to them and took the picture.

Troy put that one back and pulled out another one. This one had random shots of the three teens at middle school. There was a teacher picking their nose and some kid sneezing. There was a picture of a kid asleep and then the kid being woken up. There was a picture of Katharine Porter; a girl Chad had a crush on in 8th grade. And a bunch of other random pictures too. The second to last picture was of Troy and Andy making out against the lockers. And then the last on was of a whiteboard that Chad had wrote the message 'You wanted to know what happened at school, now you know'.

Troy took a shallow breath and put the pictures back. He put the box back in the closet and turned off the flashlight. He put t he flashlight back and then slipped back up to his room quietly. He didn't want to remember what he saw and was surprised by an almost dreamless sleep.

----------------------------

"Hey dude, how you doin'?" Chad bounded up to Troy Monday before school.

"Oh you know, butterflies and daisies," Troy laughed. Their code was so obscure, if you didn't know where it all came from.

"Good to hear bro, good to hear," Chad said as they pounded fists and then walked into school.

Troy found Gabriella in the hallway and stopped to talk to her. Chad smiled to see his friend in such a mood. "How's today lookin'?" Zeke asked as he came up Chad.

"Butterflies and daisies, man, butterflies and daisies," Chad told him, "And tell Jason if you see him."

"Can do, see ya later dude," Zeke said walking away.

"Hey Chad," Taylor said approaching him.

"Hey babe!" Chad smiled and pulled her up next to him before giving her a mind-blowing kiss.

"What is up with you today? Not that I am complaining," Taylor asked him.

"Today is feelin' like a real good day," Chad said.

"Troy what is up with your friend, he is acting weirder than normal?" Taylor interrupted Troy and Gabriella's conversation.

"It's a good day," Troy said simply.

"Are you on the same psycho happy pill as him?" Taylor asked.

"Well I can't answer for him, but I can tell you I'm not," Chad said, "And he just might be since I still can't figure out how that skinny dude can bench more that me."

"It's all the pizza you ate Friday," Troy said as he looked down the hall.

"I'm a growing boy, I need food," Chad said, the others just rolled their eyes at him, "Well I am."

"Yeah, and I'm the president," Gabriella said.

"Hello, nice to meet you Mr. – I mean Mrs. President, does that make Troy the first lady or man or what?" Chad shook hands with Gabriella.

"Stop being such a wise-ass Chad," Troy told his friend.

"I happen to really like my ass," Chad said.

"And it apparently the only wise place on your body," Taylor added.

"You like my ass too," Chad told her. Taylor haughtily crossed her arms and muttered to herself as she looked away. "We got to get to class, we don't want detention again tonight."

"He is actually right for once," Troy joked. He took Gabriella's hand and started to walk down the hallway towards their homeroom.

"Hey, you want to study today after school for finals coming up?" Gabriella asked him.

"I'd love to but I can't, I have a doctor's appointment after school," Troy said.

"How about later then?"

"How about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow is fine but why not later?"

"Because I am going to feel horrible after the appointment. Hospitals freak me out."

"Ok, fine," Gabriella said, letting go of his hand and walked into their homeroom.

Troy groaned, he had finally felt good this morning, which surprised him because of what he had to do this afternoon, and now he felt like crap as he took his seat.

"Dude, what's up?" Chad asked sitting down behind him.

"Gabriella is upset with me because she wants to study tonight, and I can't because I have a doctor's appointment," Troy said knowing that Chad understood what he actually meant.

"So?" Chad asked.

"What doctor's appointment means to you and me is totally different that what it means to her."

"So why don't you tell her what it really means."

"That is the stupidest idea you have ever had and it includes the thing in sixth grade with the frogs."

"It was just a suggestion."

"And a really bad one that is never going to happen."

"Why not Troy?"

"Because I can't, you should know this."

"I do, but…"

"What?"

"Just think about it," Chad said as the bell rang.

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**AN: Ok there you go, another piece of the puzzle, I am so tired it is nearly two am where I am. Please leave me a review, good or bad, it is much appreciated. Next update should be tomorrow, maybe, maybe not until a few days later.**


	3. Code: Snowmen

**AN: So I want to thank everyone who has reviewed so far, I love it! Here is the next chapter; I hope it explains most of it to you. If not, you are welcome to ask. Sorry it took so long to update, but it is a long chapter.**

Chapter 3

The next day when Chad came up to Troy to ask him what kind of day it was all he received was a pointed look. "Uh-oh," Chad said, "Code: Snowman," he grabbed Troy by the elbow and started to drag him down the hallway, not that Troy put up much of a fight. "Hi girls," Chad said as Gabriella and Taylor approached, "Bye girls," he said passing them. He took Troy through the gym and into the varsity boys' locker room. No one would be in it. "What happened?" Chad asked sitting Troy down on the end of a bench and leaning against the wall opposite of it, "And don't tell me nothing."

"There was some stupid student observer that my parents signed off on letting her watch. She was supposed to be quiet and take notes on the questions Shannon asked. But she didn't stay quiet," Troy said leaning back on the bench to stare at the ceiling.

"What did she say or ask?" Chad asked.

"Ok, so whenever I am talking to Shannon, it is all about me or me and Andy. And that is fine; I can do that with Shannon. But the stupid girl had to ask about Gabriella and add her to the whole equation, making it so much harder. And that I can't handle."

"What makes it so much harder?" Chad asked.

"When it just me and Andy it is like solving for 'x' in math, simple right? But adding Gabriella is like adding 'y' and 'z' to the equation and I can't solve that," Troy was now talking to the ceiling.

"She is just one girl, how does she add two variables?"

"'X' is my relationship with Andy, 'y' is my relationship with Gabriella, and 'z' is the relationship between Gabriella and Andy."

"They don't have a relationship."

"Exactly! That is why I can't solve it!" Troy shouted.

"Whoa, ok, calm down dude," Chad said.

"And then this gets Shannon interested in it since I can't answer the first question. And she asks me all other similar questions I still can't answer so there are awkward silences and it like I'm a sitting duck on an open lake."

"And so then what happens?"

"Shannon suggests that I talk to Gabriella about Andy. And I had about the same reaction I did when you said something about it."

"Which I shouldn't have done, but why can't you. Like what is running through that head of yours when someone suggests it."

"Bad idea, horrible idea."

"What is so bad about it? Are you afraid of Gabriella leaving just because you use to be madly in love with someone over two years ago, and that a little part of you still in love with her?"

"It's not just a little part!" Troy said before falling silent, "Yeah that's what I'm afraid of. And it would be just like Andy all over again, only worse, cause then I have nothing left, absolutely nothing. I never had everything back after Andy, and I still don't. She left it all broken, I can't fix it. Gabriella will just take all the pieces and then I can't even try."

Chad was silent for a while. "Troy?" He said finally, "Where or rather what do you see when you see Gabriella? Is she there to try and fix the pieces she doesn't know she is supposed to? Or to block about everything to be a diversion so you don't have to think of Andy? Or what? What is she to you?"

Troy had to think about this for a moment, "A ray of sunshine. A light in my eternal darkness, a light that makes everything now so bad anymore. Maybe, everything just might be ok again. Something that makes it worthwhile getting to in the morning."

"Tell her that, tack it right on to the end of telling her."

"If she sticks around that long."

"She will, just maybe start it out slow, don't jump right into it on November 5th."

"How?"

"Just start off with the three amigos, me, you and Andy, you know before everything."

"There wasn't a lot before it, it started around age seven, remember?"

"So start at kindergarten. You know what, I can help you out. I will find some pictures; we both know my parents took thousands just like yours and Andy's. I will put some together to tell your life and in a good sequence to show her, but you have to do all the talking and tell her what each one was about. And if I can make a suggestion, tell her before school ends, that way if she is mad at you, she still has to see everyday." Troy didn't say anything, "She's see that void of you and wouldn't be able to stay mad."

"Ok," Troy nodded, "Maybe Saturday."

"You are studying with her today after school right?"

"Yeah?" Troy nodded again.

"I can have it done by 3:30. It has to be today, before you lose all this," Chad said.

"I don't know if I can look at Andy today?"

"Then she'll see the real you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means she'll see the non-held together you that you are always trying to hide at school and around people."

Troy stayed silent knowing, but not really wanting to believe that what Chad was saying was right.

"And maybe as a last resort or just for emphasis you could show her the orange bottles and before and after, just be careful with that, it might freak her out some," Chad said cutting through the silence Troy had made.

"Got it," Troy said.

"Let's go get a pass from your dad," Chad said, "Late bell is just about to ring."

"Can't I just stay here all day?" Troy sat up; he didn't want to face school today.

"Nobody would let you," Chad said, pulling his best friend up to his feet. They got a pass from Troy's dad and walked to homeroom, not in any bit of hurry since they had a pass.

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Later that day in lunch, Troy, Chad, Gabriella and Taylor were all together in the lunchroom. "Hey, why were you late to homeroom?" Taylor asked after they had all fallen silent for a second.

"Going to hate the answer," Troy mumbled under his breath, though Gabriella still heard it and looked at him.

"Just ran into some problems, it was a really bad morning," Chad said.

"More specific?" Taylor asked.

"More obscure," Troy muttered.

"Code: Snowman," Chad said with a straight face.

"Ok, what is up with all this weird lingo and codes? What is there to hide?" Came Gabriella's outburst.

"A lot, and nothing at all," Troy said, "We were in the locker room, talking. There were a few issues this really bad morning, and night actually too."

"What or who or when is this all about? Who is decide these codes and good mornings or bad ones every morning?" Gabriella asked.

Chad and Troy looked at each other, "Most of the time me," Troy said.

"You know I have a bad morning too, but I don't run around like a chicken with its head cut off in a 'Code: Snowman', it is ridiculous!" Gabriella said haughtily.

"Well if you will excuse me," Troy said getting up and walking away.

"Troy!" Chad said getting up to go after him.

Only, Gabriella pulled him back down, "What is going on here Chad?"

"It's not my place to tell," Chad said, desperately wanting to get up to chase after Troy. He hurriedly said, "Go to Troy's today at four, if you let me go, I can get him to tell you everything, now I have really got to go," Chad got up and quickly exited the cafeteria into the hallway. It was empty, "Troy!" he yelled down the hall as he started to look for him. Chad first checked Troy's not-so-secret place, but it held no Troy. He rushed back down the stairs and then around the school to find him. He checked the gym, the locker rooms, the library, and all the halls, even the theatre. And still no Troy. Lunch ended and people started to exit the lunchroom and file towards class.

Chad went to his, knowing that Troy was in it, hoping that he would show up. Ten minutes into the class when he didn't show up, Chad asked for a pass and left the room. He ran through the school again, checking all the places he had before, saving the gym for last. He found Mr. Bolton there, teaching, or rather pitching a game of kickball. "Coach!" Chad got his attention and beckoned him over. "Troy's missing. He left lunch after an argument with Gabriella and he didn't show up for class, I've been all over the school twice. I can't find him at all."

"Check teachers lot for my car and the student lot for yours, he didn't drive today. I'll go down to the office and ask for an all call for him there, if he doesn't show up we'll go from there, and check your classroom again to see if he showed up late, then come down to the office" Mr. Bolton said, "And check bathrooms."

Chad nodded; he sped out of the gym as Mr. Bolton put a senior in charge and departed for the office. Chad made his way to the teacher lot and searched for Jack's car. He quickly found it and checked the license plates just to make sure it was his. He made his way then to the opposite side of the building where the student lot was and found his own car. He went back inside and peaked into the window of the door to his classroom. Troy's seat was still empty. He started to check the boys' bathrooms as he made his way down to the office area. He turned the corner to find Jack standing there, shaking his head.

"Where the hell could he be?" Chad said.

"I'll call a lockdown, keep checking bathrooms or any other place you can think of," Jack said walking into the office once more.

Chad was going through all the boys' bathrooms, desperately trying to find Troy. He found a few people skipping and told them to get to class. He heard over the intercom the office's message, "All teachers please check your email for a message, any subs, please call the office immediately for a message, thank you." Chad continued down the halls looking in each of the boys' bathrooms. A few teachers tried to usher him in, but he refused saying he was on the hunt for Troy. After checking each of the bathrooms of the school and still not finding Troy, Chad headed back down to the office where Mr. Bolton was still standing.

"Nothing, it is like he completely disappeared off the face of the planet," Chad said frustrated.

"Mr. Danforth, who is your teacher?" One secretary asked, poking her head out into the hall.

"Mrs. Hutchinson," Chad said.

"Thank you," and the secretary disappeared.

"They are checking all the rooms for him or to see if any teacher has seen him. They don't want to tell the student body. They are looking for his friends too to see if any of them are missing also. You would be one if they weren't calling your teacher right now," Jack explained.

"Where the heck could he be, there are only so many rooms in this school," Chad said.

"Which is why they are checking all of them."

"What about the grounds? Like the stadium and parking lot?" Chad asked

"SRO is out there, principals are the ones doing the school."

"Did he take his meds this morning?" Chad asked.

"Watched him personally, why?"

"I think he's been skipping, you know as a test on himself to see how he is really doing. On days that have positive outlooks. And is he sleeping at night? Some days he comes to school looking really tired."

"He says he is, so we thought he was, maybe he's not."

"You know what he talked to Shannon about yesterday?"

"Nope, but it made him really pissed off for the ride home. He went straight to bed like always."

"She wants him to talk to Gabriella about Andy, he doesn't want to. I tried to talk him into this morning, and it almost would've happened if he hadn't done this."

"You don't need to push him, it's not your place."

"I didn't, I made...suggestions," Chad said.

"Excuse me," a secretary stuck her head out the door of the office, "They found him in the music room, apparently it is not pretty. He trashed the place."

"Come on," Jack motioned Chad to follow him down the hall towards the music room.

Troy was sitting outside the door in the hallway against the wall, curled up in a ball. His head was down low so no one could see him crying. An assistant principal was standing against the opposite wall. Coach Bolton went up and talked to him before they both went into the room.

Chad went up to his friend and kneeled down in front of him. He lifted Troy's head to look at him, but Troy shut his eyelids so he didn't have to look at Chad, already knowing that he had disappointed him. Chad pulled him forward into a hug. Chad felt the tears on his shoulder. Chad made no sound as one of his own slipped down his face. He brushed it away quickly and took a few short and shallow breaths.

Coach Bolton and the assistant principal came out of the room, "Chuck has agreed to let you take Troy home. I am going to call Sara, stay with him until she gets there, and then take yourself home and get some rest. Mr. Harris will escort you out of the building and we will end the lockdown when you are out. And I have to get back to my class."

"Ok," Chad said. He picked himself up off the floor, bringing Troy up with him. Their first stop was a bathroom for a paper towel for Troy. They stopped by their classroom so Chad could get his stuff while Troy waited outside and the principal explained everything to the teacher, who nodded. They stopped at both boys' lockers and then went to the student lot. As the principal stopped walking with them, they heard the principal radioing to the office that they were out of the building. Soon after as they reached Chad's car, they hear the intercom telling the teachers to check their email again or call the office again.

They drove to Troy's house in silence, not even turning the radio on. Once home, Chad pulled out the hidden key to unlock the door and then replaced the key back in its hiding spot. Inside, Troy collapsed on the living room couch and hugged a pillow tightly to his chest. Chad gingerly sat on the edge of a chair near the couch.

"I told Gabriella to come here at four so you could explain things, I don't know if she will show up, but I will still get you those pictures like I said I would," Chad told him.

"Ok," Troy said in a detached voice.

"I can stay around for when you tell her if she shows up," Chad offered.

"Thanks," Troy said still in the same dull, emotionless voice.

They sat in silence until Troy's mom arrived home. Chad bid them a goodbye and went home. He went home and did just as he said he would, digging through a lot of old pictures and memories.

Sara got a spark of life out of her son after breaking out the 'Monopoly' board and starting to play. Troy knew that his mom would let him win after she decided not to buy 'Park Place' after he had already bought 'Boardwalk'. He didn't really care; it was just a stupid game they were playing until something happened. Chad was back at 3:30 with a folder of pictures, just as he had promised. He sat down to watch them play.

4 PM came and went without Gabriella. Jack came home somewhere between 4 PM and 5PM and went straight into his office without a word. Chad took over the game for Sara as she went to talk to Chad's parents; everyone in the house already knew that Chad would be there tonight. Sara went out back to talk to them over the phone, telling them everything. The game ended and the boys flipped on the TV.

Dinner came and went with 6 PM. Chad disappeared home for a moment to grab his backpack, a change of clothes, and his toothbrush. Jack stayed locked up in his office all night with the exception of dinner. Sara said she was going out, with out saying where. But they all knew, she would be at Starbucks with her coworker/friend Angelene.

7PM came and went as the boys worked silently on their homework.

8PM came with a knock on the door. Chad looked at Troy. They looked out the window from their positions in the living room to see Gabriella's car in the driveway. Troy nodded and Chad got up to answer the door.

"I know it's not four, but can we pretend it is?" Gabriella asked.

Chad looked at Troy who nodded again, "Yeah, come in," Chad stepped back.

"Hi," she said rather shyly as she came in.

Troy nodded once more. Chad could see him visibly shaking, though right now it went unnoticed by Gabriella. You could only tell by looking at his hands as he picked up the forgotten folder of pictures from the ground. "Let, uh, go up to my room," Troy choked out. He led them up to his room, still visibly trembling, now visible to Gabriella. It struck her curiosity. Troy sat down on the edge of his bed and Chad took a seat at his desk. Gabriella sat a little uncomfortably on the end of Troy's bed. "I, um, I haven't looked through these yet, so I don't really know anything about them, but Chad says they are my life in pictures, or just about," Troy said. His hand were shaking quite horribly as he took out the stack of photographs. There was a paperclip keeping them all together that he struggled with for a moment to get off. It went flying across the room when he finally got it off, Chad picked it up. "Will you look at them with me?" He asked Gabriella.

She hesitated but nodded and moved closer to him. The top picture displayed Troy and Chad in kindergarten, "Ok, so that is obviously Chad and me, this is kindergarten. But, the picture actually tells a lie. There is someone missing from it, and I am hoping they are in the next one," Troy started. He flipped to the next photo, "This was really kindergarten." The picture displayed him, Chad and Andy eating ice cream with id dripping down their arms as it melted. "It is still me and Chad and still kindergarten. But it tells what it was really about. There was a third amigo – Adeline Anderson, or as we call her, Andy. Our parents joke that we were more of the three stooges than amigos. We literally have thousands of pictures of the three of us together. The fact that we have one with out all three of us amazes me. It's like we were conjoined triplets, even though it is quite impossible. We were always together." Troy switched to the next picture. It was age eight, he could tell, and how he could tell was this, "Ok, age eight, I can tell because I'm not standing next to Chad we were mad at each other. Things got hairy around ages seven and eight." Troy took a second to look at Chad, who gave him an encouraging nod. Here came the first of several very hard parts to tell Gabriella, "Chad thought I didn't want to be his friend any more and was trying to get rid of him, so it would just be me and Andy after I gave Andy her first kiss. Well, mine too, we were seven. And it sounds a little unbelievable for a seven year old, but we always had something a little more special for us."

Troy flipped to the next picture already guessing what it held. Chad really did know Troy way too well. It showed Troy and Andy with their backs to the camera, oblivious to the picture being taken, and holding hands in that innocent way only little children could pull off. "So that is what is was for a while, holding hands and a stolen kiss when we thought no one was looking. Chad was jealous a little and thought this was my way of telling him that I didn't want his friendship anymore so it would just be Andy and me. I quickly convinced him otherwise," Troy flipped to the next picture of him and Chad shooting water guns at each other. "So I guess this is the renewal of our friendship. That looks like age nine about." Troy turned the photo over and in ink was written 'Troy and Chad age nine'. Troy turned to the next photo and let out a chuckle, "This was Andy's eleventh birthday, we pied her in the face for her wake up call. She got really mad and made us clean up the mess. Age eleven was the year of practical jokes.

Troy changed photos again. "Um, ok, this looks like seventh grade maybe, entering middle school? That would be what? Age 12? And I don't know what day this is? Chad?" Troy looked up at him.

"That's the day you told Andy you loved her. It surprised her so much, she could respond at all. You got all mad. I was pulled in both directions. And the next picture is what Andy and I stayed up all night doing after she figured everything out," Chad filled in the blank.

The next photo had 'I LOVE YOU TROY BOLTON' written in red balloons taped to the East High gym floor. "You had to drag me the whole way there," Troy recalled, "I was determined to be unhappy and mope until I saw Andy there standing in the middle of the 'O' of my first name. You ran out of the gym screaming 'gross' after we started kissing and making up." Troy felt the tears threatening to fall, he was trying really had not to let them. "So there you go. Now you know. I had fallen completely and incredibly in love with my best friend." He changed pictures again and there was a picture of the three of them together sitting in the office obviously in trouble by the sheepish looks on their faces. "We ruled the middle school. Chad and I had control of the sports; Chad and Andy were the class clowns in detention every other day, they were dreadfully hilarious. And Andy and I were on the top of the gossip and everyone wished they were us, or that they would find what we had."

Troy changed photos again, "So moving on to freshman year of high school. It was an incredible year of my life. I was on the varsity basketball team, not a started, but I still got a lot of minutes. I had the two best friends in the world. And one of them was my girlfriend that I was madly in love with and probably ready to spend the rest of my life with. But we were just 14, so what we thought didn't matter, we just would wait until we were eighteen," Troy changed photos again, "And dude why is this in here? I don't want to look at it," Troy placed the photo on his bed with the image not facing them. It displayed Troy and Andy making out on the East High bleachers.

"You were in your jersey, it was from after your first varsity game. And don't bother trying to deny that you didn't do a lot of that. I always made sure I knocked before entering this room so I wouldn't catch you guys in an awkward position. You had it perfected by twelve," Chad said almost nonchalantly.

"It didn't need to be in there," Troy shot him a look.

"Yes it did," Chad said, "Now go one, be prepared, all happiness is gone."

Troy closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and switched pictures again. He instantly knew the exact date of the snapshot. "This is May 16th two years ago. Day after one of the worst of my life. Previous day after running home in the rain to Andy's house, we found out from her dad that they are moving the day after school ended. Her," Troy choked up and had to stop to regain his breath, "Her grandmother had a stroke and they were moving to Michigan to take care of her, we had two weeks until they moved." A few tears slipped down Troy's face, which was noticed by all in the room. Troy changed pictures once more, "This is the day she left. We ended everything that day. She would never come back, and I would never leave. We didn't want it to fizzle out, or end up mad at each other, so everything was cut off that day. We thought it was the right thing to do, and it probably was. But it hurt like hell to watch her go."

Troy looked at the photo of them sharing what was probably their last kiss, both had tearstained faces. Troy thought it would be the last photo as he changed them again. He expected to see the first one again of him and Chad but he came to face a picture of himself. He was sitting on the bleachers of East High staring at nothing, absolutely desolate and emotionless. "That is the Troy Bolton I knew after Andy left and before you came to here Gabriella. That was the one I faced everyday. I saw that void of my best friend, I could do anything. There was nothing I could do to help him," Chad said, his voice cracked, but his face remained totally dry. Troy was silently crying as he looked at himself. He couldn't believe how empty he looked. He was a skeleton, he had bags under his eyes, he looked and Troy knew he felt depressed. "Change it." Troy's hands were shaking so bad, Gabriella took the stack of pictures and looked at the next one. "That is Troy after you came here Gabriella," Chad said completely detached. It showed Troy and Gabriella laughing in the hallways of high school. And there was the familiar sparkle in Troy's eyes again like in the earlier pictures of his younger self.

"This, this, is what you didn't tell me," Gabriella asked setting down the stack of pictures.

"Most of it, but it is not really why we have all sort of codes. For that we need to finish in my parents' room," Troy said, "It is sort of a before and after." Troy wiped off his face and stood up, the others followed in suit. They followed him across the hall into his parents' room. Troy went up to a cabinet and opened it. Gabriella leaned uncomfortably against the foot of the bed, while Chad stayed at the door. Troy started to take stuff out of the cabinet that Gabriella couldn't see until he stepped out the way. She saw that there on his parents' dresser stood orange prescription medicine bottles. They were different sizes, but all empty. "There are seven of them. And before I met you, I was taking all of them. This is obviously after Andy," Troy said looking at Gabriella.

"What, what are they for?" Gabriella asked surprised at this.

Troy picked up a largish one and looked at the label, "Ok, this one is anti-depressants a rather large dosage one." Troy set it down and picked up another. He looked at its label, and then picked up one of similar size. "These two were for nutrition. I didn't really eat a whole lot and was growing steadily unhealthy, so these were suppose to be for all the minerals and nutrients I wasn't getting from food." Troy set both bottles down and picked up another, "This was a fun one, it was for my migraines that I started getting almost daily." Troy put it down and picked up the fifth one, "This was for insomnia. You figure out that one's story." Troy placed it back on the dresser and picked up another, "This one, this one I am thankful for. It was for all the side effects of all the other medications I was taking. It was for upset stomach, ear aches, general pain, and all sorts of other stuff." Troy set it down and picked up the last bottle, "No need to look at this one's label. This was for anger management. I was, well there is no way around it, I was violent, just totally out of control sometimes." He looked at Gabriella again trying to read a reaction.

"And..." Chad led him on to the next part.

"And at some point in time, I started seeing a psychologist, which is where I was yesterday. I just don't want the whole school knowing it, so we just say that I am at a doctor's appointment," Troy explained, still watching Gabriella for a reaction."

"And..." Chad said again. Troy shot Chad a glare, "You go there because..."

"Because November 5th was a really bad day and it was before I got medicine or my therapist Shannon, so I hated life, I hated school, I hated basketball and most of all I hated myself and I tried to OD on sleeping pills. And I am not proud of that choice I made. I am really quite ashamed of it. And it was then that I started to get help," Troy said. There came an audible gasp from Gabriella during this.

"And beside you and me, only his parents know this fact," Chad said, "I wasn't suppose to know either, but I was the one who found him. And in that hospital I decided it was my responsibility now to watch out for him and make sure he is ok. I had already lost one best friend when Andy moved, I am never going to lose the other one if I have any say in it."

"This cabinet has a lock on it that my dad has the key to. After what I did all the medicine in the house went into this cabinet to be locked 24/7 except for two minutes in the morning a two minutes at night for my mom or my dad, never me, to get out my medicine for me. Even now they lock it most of the time, sometimes it is unlocked like now, but it is rare. I am seventeen years old and I can't stay home alone or be alone at all. I say I'm going Chad's my parents call his house ten minutes later to make sure I'm there. And I don't know what they tell her, but I know they call your mom too. It was why my mom was freaking out Friday, she thought I was alone and would do something stupid. It is not like I'd do something like that again. It embarrasses me that it is part of my past," Troy said.

"Wh-where do I fit in?" Gabriella asked, scared and confused.

"All the help my parents tried to give me, all that Chad has tried to do can't compare to what you have done for me. The best thing ever to help me was you," Troy said. "Before you, my dad had to literally drag me out of bed each morning just to get to school. At school it seems like I am really popular and such, but last year I was the most anti-social person at our school. Chad was literally the only person I would talk to besides my parents and my therapist, but that wasn't at school. My parents discussed putting a security camera in my room just because I would shut myself up here all the time. The only time I came out was for school or basketball. My mom hand delivered almost all my food, not that I ever really ate it. I was a complete disaster. If I did talk to them, I was unleashing anger. I wasn't mad at them, I was mad at me.

"And you saw the differences in the pictures before. After you came, I started to feel better, the world wasn't totally dark anymore. It had a spark of light. You became a little ray of sunshine to me. You gave me a reason to get up in the morning. I started to eat and sleep and my migraines went away, but they do happen still every once in a while, but not everyday like they used to. And all this medicine you see in front of you, started to disappear. My therapist even said that she thought I was getting better, and it was unbelievable to hear. And now," Troy reached into the cabinet and pulled out another orange bottle, "This is the only medicine I take now. It is just a lower dosage anti-depressant. I don't have to see Shannon, my therapist, again for four weeks, that is the longest I have ever gone without talking to her. I use to go to her office three times a week and call her three more times a week, so the only time I didn't talk to her was on Sunday. That is where you fit into my life. The light in a world of darkness."

"Wow," was all Gabriella could say.

"And now I am guessing you are wondering why the heck did I even ask you out when I was dealing with all this already. Well, I can tell you, I wasn't totally ready, I may still not be ready. I had talked to Chad and my parents and my therapist for hours and hours. And they all had me convinced it would help, and it has. Sometimes, it is hard to tell, I have bad days. And I see you smile, and they aren't so horrible then, they still suck, I can tell you, but they are more bearable. That is a really good word. Life is bearable now with you. I told you that Andy was my everything. Losing her was the worst experience ever. And she left me with almost nothing. Almost nothing of my heart or soul or who I am, but what I have left, I want to give to you. And it is hard to trust again, but I think if you are the reason I want to get up in the morning again, then you can take it. It is yours to take. Which is why I was so upset at lunch with you mad at me. I thought that when you leave, I will have nothing and I will be nothing. If you haven't figured out by now, I was the reason for the lockdown."

"And why I had to find him. He's my best friend and I wasn't ready to give up on him yet, I won't ever be ready to give up on him," Chad said.

"That is everything. Why we have codes. Jason and Zeke remember Andy and think that I am depressed over her leaving, they didn't get that we were ever in love even though I pretty sure it would be hard to miss if you saw us together. I don't get it, but they don't know about what I've done or Shannon, it is just teen drama to them. But now you know everything I ever want to hide," Troy said. He looked at Gabriella to try and figure out what she was thinking. He saw she had black rivers on her faces from her tears and her mascara running. He stood there watching her silently let tears fall totally vulnerable.

"Come here," she quietly beckoned him. He walked over to her wondering what would happen. She leaned up to kiss him. "Thank you for sharing this with me."

Chad slipped out of the room and down to tell Troy's parents what had happened as the other two made up. Troy explained to her what all the codes meant and where they had come from. They each conveyed his mood or day without coming right out and saying it. Like he had said earlier, he didn't want people to know what all had happened to him and what he had done.

-----------------------

**AN: Ok there is the next chapter. I know it took a little longer, but you can see it is a really long chapter and took me some time to type. Please tell me what you think. This chapter basically everything, if there is anything you don't get, ask me, I can tell you unless I address it in the story later and then I will tell you that. The next chapter isn't as long and should be typed up in a few days.**


	4. Code: Idiot

**AN: Thank you to all who reviewed. This chapter isn't quite as long as the last one, but I like it, even though not much really happens in it. And I am so, so sorry it took me so long to update.**

Chapter 4

Troy and Gabriella were now stronger and better than ever as the school year ended. The school year finished easily or easier for Troy than it had the previous years. And he started to feel better than he ever had since Andy had left. He still had bad days where something just hit him and he was in a funk. But other days were good days or above average, he wasn't sure about the word good yet. But the above average days came to outnumber the bad days.

Summer brought the heat and days were spent either in the pool or someplace cool while nights were spent beneath the stars. "Troy, could you grab the mail while you're out there?" His mom asked from the kitchen. She was home for lunch from work.

Troy was at the front door greeting Gabriella with a light kiss, "Yeah mom," He grabbed the mail and led Gabriella inside. He flipped through it as he walked to the kitchen. Bill, Bill, a lot of advertisements, a letter from Great Aunt Roseanne, a letter for his dad for something. He handed everything to his mom, "We're going to go downstairs and watch a movie ok?"

"Yeah, you know where your dad is?" Sara asked ripping open an envelope addressed to her.

"Hardware store, needed some more caulk or something for the bathroom," Troy said.

"Ok, I'm going back to work in about twenty minutes," Sara called after the two teens as they walked into their downstairs that was like a home theatre.

Troy and Gabriella picked out a movie and put it in. They made up a line up of movies that would last most of the day going into the night. About halfway through they heard Jack call down to say he was home. And then a few minutes later he opened the door again to say, "Troy can you come up here for a second?"

"Yeah," Troy looked at Gabriella, who grabbed the remote and hit the pause button. He walked up to where his dad was standing, "What's up dad?"

"Read this," Jack handed him a letter.

Troy skimmed the letter; it was about a coaching clinic and convention in Dallas for five days the third week of July. "Dad this is great, you are going right?"

"I would love to go, but it is five days in Dallas. And I can't just leave you here for a week. Your mom is at work all day, and you are not staying here alone. Now I know your mom is going to be very against it unless you and I can find a solid place you to stay while I am gone. Then I can talk her into it," Jack said. Both Troy and Jack knew that Sara had already scheduled all but two of her vacation days.

"Well what about Chad?" Troy said like it was really obvious.

"That's the obvious, but Tom is against it because he is going to be gone on a business trip and I agree with him on not putting both you and Chad on Judy. Judy says it's ok, but I don't want to do that to her," Jack said referring to Chad's parents.

"What about one of the other boys?"

"You really want to tell them why you can't be home alone?"

"No."

"And don't say Gabriella, that is a definite no."

"I wasn't going to, what about grandma and grandpa?"

"They decide to extend their RV trip to all summer instead of just June."

"Dad, you have to go to this, you can't miss this opportunity just because your son was an idiot."

"You are not an idiot, you just made some mistakes."

"Mistakes, yeah, what about Aunt May?" Troy asked thinking of Jack's sister.

"She'll be five months pregnant then you know. I can't do that to her with Henry in Iraq," Jack was talking about his sister and brother-in-law, who was in the army.

"Talk to her, what will it hurt? And I can help her with stuff around the house and getting it ready for her baby," Troy said.

"It wouldn't hurt to ask I guess," Jack said.

"No it wouldn't," Troy nodded.

"I'm going to go talk to her in person, tell your mom I'll be back by dinner and to maybe set an extra place at the table," Jack said, "Now go be a teenager."

"Yes sir," Troy made a little mock salute and went back down to the basement to finish watching the movie with Gabriella, filling her in on what they were talking about.

----------------------

Another day that summer just a week after the previous, Troy, Gabriella and Chad were all in Troy's car on their way to Taylor's house. Taylor had to baby-sit her younger brother until about 4:30 when her mom got home from work. So that meant the four teens were meeting at her house, if they could find it. "I think your short cut got us lost," Troy said from the driver's seat to Chad, who was located in the back seat.

"Maybe we turned a street to late, it looked the same, but then again, the last time I took it was in the middle of the night," Chad said.

"Why were you going to Taylor's in the middle of the night?" Gabriella asked.

"Shut up," Chad said, "And we are not lost."

"Well I don't know where we are," Troy said.

"I do, there's Uncle Robert's house," Chad pointed out a gray house on the left.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot he lived around here," Troy said.

"Who is he and which is his house?" Gabriella asked.

"Andy's uncle, we spent a lot of time there, he had a pool and basically let us do anything. If we couldn't do it at our house, we went to Robert's and did it there," Chad said, "It was the one with the moving van in front."

"So he is moving?" Gabriella asked.

"I bet to Phoenix," Troy said, "He was always there on business trips, not that we told our parents that, they wouldn't let us go there unsupervised."

"He'll be the last Anderson to leave the state," Chad said, "The family has had like an exodus since Andy left."

"Did you just use the word exodus?" Troy asked.

"Yes I did, I'm not an idiot," Chad said, "Why does everyone think I am?"

"I shouldn't do that, I know he's not an idiot," Troy directed towards Gabriella.

"Turn here to get on to a main street," Chad said.

"I know, I've been here a million times," Troy said turning, "I am not an idiot."

"Sorry, next time, I won't help you," Chad said.

A few short minutes later, Troy pulled into Taylor's driveway. "Finally, what took you guys so long?" Taylor asked coming out into the front yard.

"Your boyfriend got us lost," Troy said.

"We were not lost," Chad shot at Troy before kissing Taylor.

"Ooooh, your boyfriend's not suppose to be here," Said a little boy who only slightly resembled Taylor.

"Shut up Theo, it's not just him, it's him and my friends," Taylor said, "Go watch TV or something, just stay out of my hair."

"Having trouble?" Gabriella asked.

"He's so annoying, I hate eight-year-olds," Taylor complained.

The group went inside and lounged around a bit trying to find something to do, when Chad found some bags of water balloons. This ensued a comical war in Taylor's back yard. Half the balloons didn't break on contact with a body but did after hitting the ground. First it was Troy and Gabriella versus Chad and Taylor until the girls pulled a Benedict Arnold and came together against the boys. After they ran out of balloons they collapsed, laughing, on Taylor's deck.

"Weren't we going to do something like that senior year," Chad asked Troy after their laughed died down.

"Yeah, me, you, and Andy, guess what year we planned that?" Troy said.

"Eleven," the two boys said together. Troy was ok with talking about Andy as long as it all stayed in good memories and thoughts. It didn't faze him too much as long as it stayed good and was on an ok day. Bad days, any mention of Andy put him in a funk. But that didn't matter because today was an ok day, it was all positive memories, nothing talking of her leaving.

"Who's Andy?" Taylor asked.

"Old friend, moved away freshman year," Chad answered, knowing he would have to be the one to do it.

"I don't remember an Andy," Taylor was trying to put a face with the name.

"We had a lot of things planned for senior year," Chad continued on.

"Yeah we did," Troy nodded in reminiscence.

"Like what?" Gabriella asked.

"Teepeeing some of the rooms like the office and the gym maybe some other places too," Troy said.

"And you guys were going to try out for the musical and purposely sing really bad just to annoy people," Chad added.

"Well I did that," Troy said, "We were going to pull the fire alarm on underclassmen last day, so we would have already graduated."

"Paint the lunch tables with our names all mixed up so if they wanted to pin it on us they would have to work at it," Chad said.

"Skip through the halls to every class one day and see how many others would start too after we told them it was national skipping day," Troy laughed at the thought.

"Sing Christmas carols badly on the first and last days of school."

"Make fake snow and have a snowball fight on the day before winter break."

"Have the paper football championship during free period the Friday before the super bowl"

"You and I were going to dress and act gay for a day."

"Randomly yell April Fool's all during November."

"And a few other too," Troy started.

"But it would become very long and boring so," Chad continued.

"We are stopping here," Troy finished.

"That worked so much better with a third," Chad said.

"I know, I had to think about what the words were," Troy said.

"You guys would be in detention every day," Taylor said.

"We actually looked in the rule book, and only some of them are actually out of line, some are totally allowable," Troy said.

"It's not like we are bringing a weapon to school," Chad said, "It's harmless fun."

"I think that most of them sound reasonable," Gabriella said, "But not all like the painting and fire alarm and teepeeing, that is obviously outside the rules."

"I can't believe you are condoning this," Taylor said.

"It's not like they've done it already, it was ideas to do," Gabriella said. Taylor did a little 'humph' and crossed her arms.

The four teens lay in the sun for about another hour to dry off before picking up the big pieces of water balloons that lay on the ground and throwing them away.

"You know what I think would be fun to have at school one day during free period?" Gabriella said as she and the boys were driving back to Troy's house, "A tag game or hide and go seek or some child's game. You know like red light, green light, red rover, mother may I, something like that."

"I think I am a bad influence on you," Troy laughed, "But I think it is a good idea. Like if we could get a ton of people to play sardines."

"Like when we played with all my cousins on the 4th of July in '01," Chad said from the back seat.

"Yeah, that was fun," Troy nodded.

"Hey, whose car is it in front of your house?" Gabriella asked, pointing to a car in Troy's driveway.

"My aunt's, she's probably talking to my parents about that coaching thing for my dad," Troy said pulling up next to the red car. The three teens got out and went inside. And as predicted, Troy's parents were talking to a woman who had a striking resemblance to Jack in the living room. The three adults were talking, but abruptly stopped when the teenagers entered the house. "Hey Aunt May," Troy kissed her cheek, "Mom, dad," Troy nodded at them. Gabriella and Chad gave their own greetings and then they said they were off to the backyard. Troy pulled out a basketball and a wacky game of 'Horse' followed. Chad and Troy tried to show off, but missed almost everything. When they did make it though, it was hilarious to watch Gabriella try. Just before 5 PM Taylor walked into the yard and Gabriella announced that she quit and sat in the grass with Taylor to watch the boys. The boys messed around in a one-on-one game before quitting too.

"So now what?" Chad asked.

"You know what I haven't played in like forever," Gabriella said, "BS."

"I use to love that game!" Troy exclaimed, "We used to stay up so late playing that until one of us would shout too loud and our parents would get mad at us."

"Who's 'us'?" Taylor asked.

"Me, Chad, and Andy," Chad said, "We had all-nighters playing it."

"I think I have a deck of cards up in my room, come on," Troy said getting up and offering Gabriella a hand up too.

"He of course helps her up," Chad said standing up by himself, but offered a hand to Taylor too.

"And you are only doing it because he did it," Taylor said taking his hand.

"Thanks for thinking so highly of me," Chad said as they walking inside and up to Troy's room. They all sat down on his floor in the middle of his room while Troy searched around in a few drawers before pulling out a deck of cards. He counted them quickly to make sure that it was a full deck, which it was.

"Ok, so this is the lying game right where it is basically how good you are at lying?" Taylor asked.

"Don't tell me you haven't played," Chad said.

"I have, it was just a few years ago in the middle of the night half-asleep," Taylor said.

"You got the right game," Gabriella said, picking up her cards as Troy was dealing.

"Who starts?" Troy asked after he finished dealing.

"I've played it that whoever has the two of spades plays first," Gabriella said.

"Ok, two twos," Chad placed two cards down face down in the center.

"One three," Gabriella played a single card.

"Three fours," Troy said. Chad looked at him and Troy gave him a look, daring him to call it.

"One five," Taylor put down her card.

"One six," Chad said.

"So when you don't have something that is when you lie right?" Taylor asked.

"Yes, three sevens," Gabriella said.

"BS," Troy called.

"You really want to look at them?" Gabriella said flipping over three sevens.

"Ok, ok, can't always be right," Troy picked up the stack of cards and organized them into his hand, "Some one has been lying, there is face cards. Ok what am I on? Two eights."

"One nine," Taylor said playing her card.

"Three tens," Chad said.

"BS," Gabriella said. Chad picked up the cards already knowing his bluff. He shot a look at Taylor as Gabriella played, "One jack."

"Four queens," Troy played.

"Two kings," Taylor said.

"BS," Gabriella called on her friend.

"I was so going to do that," Troy whined as Taylor blushed and picked up her cards.

The game continued on until Gabriella came out the victor. They continued to play until they had all won at least once. "Where'd you learn to play this?" Taylor asked Gabriella.

"8Th grade in Chicago. It was basically all we did in math class. We'd copy down notes and then just play this. The teacher was a bit of a push over and she said it actually had some math to it with like odds and probability and that sort of stuff. I think she even gave us cards once or twice," Gabriella explained.

"You were so lucky, our teachers were that cool," Troy said.

"Mrs. Miller was a bitch," Chad nodded.

"Don't call your teacher a bitch," Taylor scolded him, hitting him on the head.

"Ow, well it was the truth," Chad said rubbing his head.

"She was a bitch, everyone hated her. Everyone wanted the other teacher, Mr. O'Gronal. He was cool."

"We of course didn't get him," Chad said.

"They totally had it stacked against us," Troy said, "And by they I mean the computer program that makes up the schedules."

Chad started to laugh, "Chad get your head off my legs and by Chad I mean Troy," Chad mimicked.

"These M&Ms are good, and by M&Ms I mean Swedish fish," Troy did his own imitation.

"That cat is so cute, and by cat, I mean dog," Chad said laughing.

"There are like a million balloons over there, and by million I mean like seven," Troy said, "Was it balloons we were talking about?"

"Yeah, it was balloons. It was that party at my house when we were fourteen and we all slept in my living room. And if it was my house, why was I the one sleeping on the floor?" Chad asked.

"You were too lazy to go up to your room," Troy said, "And too nice to kick either me or Andy off the pull out couch bed thing."

"Well it is too gross to kick Andy off and share it with you. And too dirty to kick you off and share it with Andy," Chad said, "I was being a nice guy."

"And a lazy one."

"Besides I know you guys fought over the covers all night."

"I've heard of you eating in your sleep. And I know you talk in your sleep," Troy said.

"Shut up dude," Chad pushed him, but Troy didn't really go anywhere.

"What did you say? 'Lava rings, when's the maid?' or something random like that," Troy recalled.

"You sneeze in your sleep," Chad shot back.

"I was awake for that, because I had just woken up cold because Andy took all the covers," Troy defended himself.

"Well I heard a loud snore coming from you a few seconds later," Chad said.

"That was Andy, Andy snored, and so do you."

"I think I had a cold that night thanks to you."

"Andy gave it to me."

"Well that is your fault for catching it."

"Ok, I can't really deny that," Troy said.

The girls had sat back to watch the boys argue in that way only old friends could do, "Do you get what they are talking about?" Taylor asked quietly to Gabriella.

"About half of it," Gabriella said.

"It's like an old married couple," Taylor said louder for the boys to hear.

"Hey!" The boys objected together.

"Sorry, old gay married couple," Taylor corrected.

"They can't get married, I thought it was outlawed in like all the states and it like a civil union or something else like that," Troy said.

"Whatever, it's what you guys seem like," Taylor said rolling her eyes.

"But if we were, we couldn't be with you guys, our lovely girlfriends," Chad pointed out.

"He actually has a good point," Gabriella said.

"What do you know, my boyfriend is actually right for a change," Taylor teased him.

"Why does everyone think I'm stupid?" Chad complained loudly.

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**AN: Yes, I know it has it has taken forever for me to update. And I am really sorry, school starts in two weeks and things are started to get a little hectic. Please leave me a review telling me what you think. And the next chapter is quite long so it will take me I think about four or five days to type unless I decide to split it in two, because I know there is a good place I could split it if I have to.**


	5. Code: Shannon

**AN: So thank you to those who reviewed. So sorry about the delay, I hope this chapter makes it worth it to you, a lot happens.**

Chapter 5

Troy and Chad were walking through Troy's kitchen towards the backyard when Jack said, "Troy, I talked to both your mother and Aunt May, and it's arranged for you to stay with her that week."

"Ok," Troy nodded and continued to out back with Chad. They started a pick up game of one-on-one that turned into just a shoot around soon after.

"Ok, so I don't think I have asked this since the end of school let out. How you doin' dude?" Chad asked, passing the ball to Troy.

"It all good man, almost all good again finally. Feels better than ever before. I swear I haven't felt this good in the past two years," Troy said shooting, "Maybe toying with the line of happiness."

"You have no idea how good it is to hear that," Chad said rebounding the ball and walking out to a point outside the lane as Troy walked towards the basket, "How many orange bottles are you working on?"

"As of now? Two. As of three days from now? One," Troy said as Chad took a shot.

"And the next time you are talking to Shannon?"

"Five weeks from now, I talked to her yesterday."

"So that's like the first week of August?"

"August fourth to be exact."

"And today's the twenty-sixth of June, so that's like a record for you?"

"Yeah," Troy said rebounding a second shot of Chad's and walking up to the free throw line.

"So the rest of your summer is lookin' pretty good," Chad said walking under the hoop.

"And there was no damned student observer, thank the lord. Though I did tell Shannon that I told Gabriella. She seemed pretty happy with it and told me it was a good thing."

"But you already knew that from me."

"Yeah, but I didn't tell her that, and it feels better to have her say it than you. Everything always sounds better coming from Shannon than from you, sorry dude."

"Don't be sorry, I do understand as long as you don't go replacing me with Shannon as your best friend."

"Ha-ha, never going to happen."

"Better not. Just remember, I've known you and been best friends with you since kindergarten and you've been seein' Shannon for what, a year and a half?"

"One year, eight months, two weeks, and four days, but who's counting right?"

"It's been that long?"

"November 12th was the first day, right after November 5th, cause you know November 5th is one of those days like May 15th."

"Well for me the dates get a little fuzzy you know, sitting in a hard, uncomfortable hospital chair, trying not to cry and not to think about losing your second best friend and the fact you are in a hospital."

Troy held the ball looking at Chad, "Sorry, I didn't know."

"I hate hospitals, people die in hospitals, and I hate it."

"I'm not dying anytime soon."

"But you could have."

"You zapped my happiness."

"Fine, better topic before you say anything about needles or blood, the girls would like to go see a movie Friday night."

"Ok, sure, whatever's fine."

The boys continued to shoot around, talking about absolutely nothing as someone else they both knew was halfway down the block, running to another familiar person's house.

Later that night, Troy walked up the steps to Gabriella's house. It wasn't too late as to where he would have to sneak in her balcony, so he was at the door, knocking. He waited until the porch light came on and the door opened. He found it odd that Taylor opened the door, "Hi Taylor, didn't know you were here. You know Chad's been trying to reach you like all afternoon? I am assuming that Gabriella is here?"

"Yeah, but she doesn't really want to talk to you," Taylor said.

Troy had his foot in the air, ready to enter the door. He was taken back by this, "Why not?"

"Figure it out yourself?" Taylor said shutting the door.

"If my parents call like I know they will in a few minutes, will you tell them I was here but went to Chad's?" Troy asked loudly through the door.

"No!" Came the answer from within.

"Will you tell the police then when they come?" Troy asked.

"What?" The door flew open with Taylor looking out at him.

"Well if you don't tell my parents I was here, then they'll assume I went off and did something stupid or crazy and call the police before I can get to Chad's and call them since my phone is in my kitchen charging. The police's first stop will be here," Troy explained.

"You are just lying to get in," Taylor said.

A phone inside rang, "100 bucks that's my parents. Now you can tell them now or let me tell them now or wait and tell the police later," Troy said.

Taylor shut the door again and Troy guessed she was answering the phone. Troy's mind was working on overdrive as to what he had done to make her mad at him but it was also trying not to think about her actually being mad at him. Because that would end up at Andy leaving and he would be off the deep end, almost unreachable again, and he just might not make it through a second time. "I told them you were here, but now on your way to Chad's now go," Taylor said opening the door again.

"Ok, so can you tell me what I did wrong? Or let me talk to her, I can't fix it if I am only outside on her doorstep and she is inside," Troy tried again.

"Even if you figure it out, it just may be unfixable," Taylor slammed the door in his face again.

_Unfixable_, the word rang in his ears. Troy tried to shut off his mind as he quickly made his way to Chad's house. Just as he was entering Chad's house, the phone was ringing and it had a 99 chance of being Troy's parents.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were going to Gabriella's tonight?" Chad asked him.

"Yeah, I thought so too. She didn't want to talk to me. Hell, I didn't even see her, your girlfriend was the one answering the door," Troy sprawled out on the living room floor after grabbing a pillow. Chad laid on the couch with his head propped up on another pillow.

"So that's where she's at," Chad said.

"And I don't know how I screwed up. And it's starting to scare me 'cause Taylor used the work unfixable. And I don't know what to do," Troy turned his head to look at Chad; his voice wavered just a little.

"I'm a guy, don't look at me to know anything. I haven't talked to Taylor all day," Chad said, "Maybe you should get a girl's perspective on it."

"I am not talking to my mom or yours, Taylor is with Gabriella and not a bit helpful."

"Come on you know a ton of girls."

"Yeah, but I don't like talk to them in like a serious way."

"Not even the writer chick?"

"Kelsi? Nope, and I don't know her number either."

"Got a neighbor?"

"They are all old and creepy."

"These are times we need Andy."

"Don't talk about Andy. But even it she was still here, she would be the one mad at me and I might not even have had you."

"And obviously no family."

"They'd all tell my parents and then I bet my mom would be sleeping on my floor."

"So that like takes out everyone, there's no one else?"

"That I talk to? No?"

"That's it! Talking. Troy, who do you talk to the most on serious topics?" Chad asked him with a knowing look.

"Shannon! You aren't as dumb as you look," Troy said.

"Hey! I am not dumb."

"I'll put back the comment if I can use your phone, mine's charging."

"Yeah, sure," Chad pulled his phone out of his pocket and tossed it to Troy, "You know her number by heart?"

"Yeah, I have dialed it enough, and my parents made me memorize it anyways just in case I ever felt like I did again. If I was, why would I call someone, whatever," Troy said dialing the number and then pressing the phone against his ear as it started to ring.

"Hello," Came a calm and soothing voice that troy was used to.

"Shannon?" Troy said, "Hi, it's Troy, Troy Bolton."

"Hello Troy," Shannon said, "How are you feeling today?"

"Um, it was good until tonight. I went to my girlfriend's house, Gabriella, and one of her friends, well I'm friends with her too, Taylor, answers the door and told me that Gabriella doesn't want to talk to me. And I don't know why," Troy started to explain.

"Is this dredging up bad feelings or memories of Andy for you?" Shannon asked.

"I don't want to think about Andy right now because I don't want that to happen. I just want to think about now and what I did to make Gabriella mad at me."

"So you are trying to look to the future rather than the past?"

"Yes."

"Well that is good Troy. Can you tell me what you are feeling now with Gabriella mad at you?"

"I am confused and put out and a little scared. Taylor talked about whatever I did being unfixable, and I don't want that to be true."

"Have you talked to Gabriella today?"

"No, not at all. I talked to her yesterday telling her that I would be coming to her house tonight."

"And nothing seemed out of the ordinary then when you talked to her yesterday."

"No, that's is something I don't get. It was all normal yesterday, like it has always been."

"So then we can assume that something has happened today?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Who do you think would have contact with her today?"

"Her mom and Taylor and maybe some other friends that I don't really know."

"And who all have you all been in contact with today?"

"My parents, Chad, Taylor and I am at Chad's house so I have seen but not talked to his parents."

"Ok, so a common link is Taylor right?"

"Right."

"So you said Taylor was the one answering the door? How was she acting, like what was her tone of voice and body language towards you?"

"Cold, mad, maybe a little hostile. I mean, she slammed the door in my face."

"Ok, who can you think of that could have had contact with Taylor today?"

"Her parents, her brother, Chad has been trying to call her all afternoon but never actually got a hold of her, then Gabriella and Gabriella's mom."

"Ah, ok so we have reached Chad. You've talked to him and she has been rejecting his phone calls so then she is mad at him. So he is in on the problem with you."

"He is?" Troy looked over at Chad, who was listening to Troy's side of the conversation and guessing at what Shannon had said.

"What were your interactions with Chad today?" Shannon asked.

"We shot around in my backyard talking and we played some video games and he's listening right now."

"What did you talk about?"

"Nothing really. Talked about basketball, me, you, him, summer, winning at our game, just normal stuff."

"That normal stuff included me?"

"Ok, well that's not normal, it was the fact that until this call, I wasn't suppose to talk to you until August which would be the longest time I have ever gone with out talking to you."

"It will still be even with this phone call," Shannon told him, "Now tell me, when you went to Gabriella's house, did you see Gabriella?"

"No, the door was either closed or Taylor was blocking the doorway."

"What about a sound like a cry to signal sadness or objects moving like she was mad and throwing things?"

"I wasn't really listening, but I didn't hear anything if it was loud."

"What about like music or TV playing in the background?"

"No, didn't hear anything like that either. I wasn't listening, I was trying to figure out what I did wrong or a way to convince Taylor to let me in."

"Ok, Troy, this is my suggestion to you: If you feel up to it, I would try going over again and see the reactions you get and listen for what is going on inside the house. Or if you don't feel up to it, wait a day for her to cool off, try calling her once maybe, and then try going over there again. Don't give up. You are a good guy, continuing on like this were it is obvious that you care a lot about her and want to fix whatever has happened, will make her more willing to talk to you."

"You are a couple's therapist too aren't you?"

"I will help anyone."

"I can tell, you are really good at this."

"I did not solve your problem Troy, and I will not. You are the one doing all the work. I just ask the questions."

"Then you're a good questionnaire."

"So then tell me how you are feeling now?"

"A little less confused. Still a little scared, but I think I feel not as, how do I put this? The world doesn't look as gloomy now, though there still are thunderclouds. I feel like, maybe this isn't so unfixable. And that maybe there is something I can do and I'm not that useless."

"You were and never will be useless. It is confidence."

"Ok, then that is what you have built up. Thank you."

"You are welcome. Feel free to call my anytime Troy, especially if you start having bad feelings or memories again. Try to stay rational," Shannon said.

"Ok, good night Shannon," Troy said.

"Good night Troy," Shannon said before Troy hung up.

"I'm going back to Gabriella's," Troy said, tossing Chad his phone back and standing up.

"I'm coming too," Chad said standing up, "Let me tell my parents," Chad walked to another room of the house and returned a moment later. The two boys got in Troy's car and sped off, back to Gabriella's.

"You know this could possibly make Taylor mad at you," Troy said to Chad as he turned onto Gabriella's street.

"She's obviously already mad at me. But then again, maybe I want to be mad at her," Chad said.

"Wait, wait, wait, hold up," Troy said stopping by Gabriella's house, "Just because Gabriella is mad at me and our relationship is screwed up doesn't mean yours has to be too."

"Well I'm sticking by you until they show me good evidence of you screwin' up," Chad said as they got out of the car.

"Ok dude," Troy sighed as they walked up to the door. Troy knocked for a second time that night.

Taylor was the one opening the door again, "What now?"

"Same as before, I want to talk to Gabriella," Troy said sounding oddly calm.

"Same as before, she doesn't want to talk to you," Taylor said, she looked at Chad, "What is he back up?"

"It's his choice to be here," Troy said.

"I just want to know what he did. If you have proof of him screwing up or something, then I am on your side, but right now I don't know what he supposedly did, so I am on his side for now. But if you want to tell me what he did, I will openly change sides," Chad said. He looked at Troy. Troy knew Chad was right. Though if Chad knew what was wrong, he would tell him.

"Sure," Taylor said sarcastically.

"Taylor just let me in. Whatever I have done I can explain. And you can still be mad at me if you don't like my explanation, but you got to here my side or else you can't know everything," Troy tried to reason with her, "I just really want to know what has happened today that has made her mad at me."

"How do you know that it happened today?" Taylor looked at him.

"Because I talked to her yesterday and we were fine then," Troy said, not ready to tell Taylor of Shannon. Yes, he considered Taylor his friend, but he didn't like telling people and she was connected to him the way Gabriella and Chad were, so it seemed a little weird to him. He knew he should, but he couldn't bring himself to.

"You know what they say about when you assume," Taylor said.

"No, I know I am right," Troy said, he wasn't ready to believe that Shannon wasn't the best problem solver and she wasn't always right. She always had been in his mind, and wasn't ready to give it up yet.

"And what makes you so sure you are so right?" Taylor didn't believe him.

"Because, I just do," Troy said fighting himself to stay calm and together.

"That answer sucked, there is no way I am letting you in with that sort of answer," Taylor said.

"Tell her," Chad said quietly.

"I can't," Troy said closing his eyes and shaking his head as he drew a deep breath.

"Yeah ya can, now tell her," Chad urged him.

"I can't Chad, I just can't, I never should have come back," Troy turned around to walk away.

"Get back here and tell before I do," Chad shouted at him.

"Don't, just don't," Troy said his voice just slightly cracking.

"Fine," Chad walked off the porch, "I am driving so don't even think about opening that door." Chad snatched Troy's keys from him and ushered him into the passenger's side. Chad drove to Troy's house in silence. "What are you afraid of dude, it's just Taylor," Chad asked him after turning off the car in Troy's driveway.

"That is a big just for me. I don't want people knowing," Troy said just above a whisper.

"Come on," Chad got out of the car. He pulled Troy out and locked the car. He pulled Troy up and into the house. Troy went directly up to his room, leaving Chad to explain everything to Troy's worried parents. Jack and Sara fretted around the house and Chad walked out to the backyard.

He stood on the back porch and looked at the painted on basketball court. But he didn't just see the basketball court. He saw the silly-string war he, Troy, and Andy had when they were nine. He saw the three of them laughing and playing a game of 'Around the World' and Andy telling them each place they moved to after making a shot. He saw the end of the school bash at the end of 8th grade and they were all so excited to start high school. He saw the void of Troy sitting on the free throw line the days after Andy moved. Chad wondered it Troy had been contemplating his attempt during that time. Chad saw the game of horse he had played with Troy and Gabriella just a few days ago. And Chad saw the shoot around that had happened earlier that day. He hadn't seen Troy that good in such a long time. It was so unfair for him to be the way he was now. Chad knew that Troy had been to Hell and back after Andy.

Chad knew why Troy didn't tell Taylor. He even had an inkling of understanding too. But Chad still disagreed with him about not telling her. Chad hated keeping secrets. But oddly enough he was the guy probably harboring the most secrets. Chad shook his head and pulled out his phone, "You just may hate me Troy, but it's for you dude," Chad dialed Gabriella's number already expecting her not to pick up so when it went to voice mail, he wasn't surprised.

"Hi Gabriella and Taylor because I know she is probably right there next to you. You probably know it's Chad already. I don't know what all you heard at the door or what you have figured out from what you heard. Whatever Troy has done, whatever has happened, I really wish you could just talk to him. Hear his side of the story. Right now he's just such a mess. But you should have seen him this afternoon. He was so good; he talked about being happy finally again. It was like Andy never happened. He had made all this progress to get to here. And now it is Andy all over again. I'm here at the Bolton's and I think that Sara is putting him under twenty-four-hour surveillance. And his parents are freaking out and well I am too, I guess I am just better at hiding it. And none of us know what is wrong. Now don't think I am trying to guilt-trip you into anything. I'm just the worried friend. I don't want to think about what he could do. And we were just celebrating today. You know he talked to Shannon yesterday and he wasn't going to have to see or talk to her again until August. It would have been a record for him. Now Sara is probably going to find the soonest time she can for Troy to talk to her again. Don't tell Taylor about this, Troy doesn't want her to know. And Taylor, if you are listening to this like I think you are, don't ask questions babe. I know you want to and this is driving you insane not knowing. I know you want to know, but I sort of understand and respect Troy's decision, try to do the same please. Gabriella, just try to find it in your heart to talk to him. You don't have to forgive him for whatever has happened, but just talk to him. I've seen him you to Hell for Andy and I've seen you pull him back out of it. Just don't send him back. I don't think he'll make it out again. So please for my best friend, think about it, please. Good night," Chad hung up the phone. He sniffled once. He was trying so hard not to let his teardrops fall. And he was trying not to think; _There goes my best friend again. Losing another one Chad. You suck as a best friend_. "No I don't, Troy's still here," he said out loud to himself.

He turned around and walked back into the house. He walked up the stairs towards Troy's room. Sara was standing in the doorway, watching her son, knowing that there was probably nothing she could do for him. Chad saw a tear slip down her face. Tears were pretty well known in this house. He walked up to her. She looked at him tearfully. She wrapped him up in a hug, kissing his head lovingly. He had become her second son. She was forever in debt to him for all he had done. She let go of him and watched him enter Troy's room before disappearing off to her own room.

Chad sat down on the edge of Troy's bed. Troy was lying on his stomach with his head buried under a pillow. Chad laid a hand on Troy's shoulder. A loud gulping sound escaped from the pillow followed by a soft cry. Chad squeezed Troy's shoulder. Troy's arms started to move as Chad guessed he was wiping off his face. Troy slowly turned over and sat up, leaning against his headboard with his pillow on his lap. Chad had removed his hand, looked at Troy. Troy was unable to look at Chad, so he was staring at a spot on his blanket. "What's goin' through your head dude?" Chad started quietly.

"I am so ashamed Chad," Troy said just as quietly. Tears weld up in his eyes again. Chad pulled him forward and cradled his head against his own shoulder. Chad could feel Troy's tears but didn't let his own fall, "So ashamed of all I've done. I am embarrassed with how I've handled my life these two years. I'm embarrassed of the stupid stunts I pulled, and that I even considered doing what I did. That I was that weak to see and do such an option." Troy's voice was cracking horribly.

"You are not weak. Not for what has happened to you. Not with what happened with Andy. She and you, it was life; there was nothing more for the two of you. And it was ripped to shreds. So don't say that dude, you are not weak," Chad interrupted.

"I, I am just so ashamed of myself for doing what I did. And that I have to see Shannon. I'd like to think that she has been unneeded, but I have, I've needed her. She knows it, I know it. I'm pathetic, I need my therapist. I can't do with out her. Or you. I've been so unfair to you."

"No you haven't," Chad cut in again.

"Yeah, I have. You should be worrying about your girlfriend, doin' homework, havin' gas in your car. Not me, you shouldn't have to ask me how I'm doin' every morning. You should have never had to sit in that hospital all night. You shouldn't be listening to my endless drabble. You shouldn't have to watch all my tears. You've ended up grownin' up more than any other guy in our school trying to watch out for me. You should be able to have your own life. Not mine and some of your own. You've always been there for me. I owe you for everything including my own life. You live as much at my house as you do your own. And I have never considered how you are doin' or feelin'. Andy was your best friend too. I've always had it about me and never about you. And I screwed up your relationship with Taylor. I swear you've given up so much cause of my dumb mistakes. And I can't repay you in anyway at all."

"Just live to be really old and never stop being my best friend," Chad said pulling Troy's head back to look him in the eye, "That is how you can repay me. Always be my best friend and live to die at an old age. I loved and still love Andy as my sister just as I love you as my brother. But what I had with Andy was nothing at all compared to what you had. And Taylor and I will work it out. If not, then she's not worth it, but I think she'll come around. I haven't given up on her yet. Don't worry about me, not ever. You should be concerned about you. And whom I choose to worry about is up to me. You get through each day and I will do the same."

Troy got out of Chad's grasp and leaned against his headboard, hugging his knees to his chest, "I'm just so afraid of people knowing and judging me by it."

"Then you'll find out who your real friends are, people like me who will still stand by you," Chad said.

"Yeah, but it eats at me of what people will think of me. I mean, I couldn't even tell Taylor. She's your girlfriend and my friend. And I can't even tell her. And none of the guys know. Zeke and Jason, they know that I was friends with Andy and took it a little hard when she left, but they don't know anything else. They just think it is teen drama. And I've played with them for four years. And they just think I'm depressed over losing a best friend. They know nothing of the attempt or of Shannon."

"Just take it a person at a time, you aren't being asked to scream it to the world. Just take Taylor first let others follow in time. Just tell her, or let me tell her, you know I can do it," Chad said.

"That makes me a coward."

"No, it makes you human and knowing what you can and can not handle and knowing your limit. Right now, it is moment to moment, getting through day by day with people always watchin' out for you. That is something you can do, and no one is askin' you to do anything more."

"But doesn't it make me weak? Being that reliant on people?"

"It makes you smart knowing what you can and can not do right now."

"It's been two years and I still can't do a lot. Life's barely holdin' it all together sometimes. It's like it is balanced but just a breeze, and it will all tumble over in an instance."

"So you strengthen it, like I see you doin' slowly but surely everyday. It just takes a while so it seems like you aren't doin' anything, but I see you doin' it."

Silence hit them until there was a ring of the doorbell. "Chad what id you do?" Troy looked at him.

"Don't be mad, but I called Gabriella on your back porch," Chad said before leaning over the edge of the bed and pulled out a tissue box from beneath Troy's bed. "Clean yourself up," Chad handed him a tissue and put the box back.

"Dude I can't do this," Troy said wiping off his face, "I can't talk to her.

"Yeah you can, talk to her like you do me."

"I can't do that, it's...different."

"How? She knows everything."

"She does, but she doesn't, she wasn't here like you were. She wasn't around to know Andy like you do."

"But she is going to always be here just like me."

"We don't know that."

"You may not, but I do."

"Can you just lurk in the shadows?"

"As always," Chad retreated to a dark corner of Troy's room and sat down, leaning against the wall.

"Troy?" his mom was at the door, "Did Chad leave?"

"Corner," Troy pointed and Chad nodded.

"Ok, Gabriella is here, you want to talk to her?"

"Yeah."

"And you can handle this?"

"Yeah."

"Should I send her up?"

"Yeah."

"Can you say anything besides 'Yeah'?"

"Yes."

"Ok," Mrs. Bolton left the room.

Chad heard Troy taking a few short, shallow breaths as he laid his forehead on his still bend knees. They both hear the stairs creak as pressure was put on them. Gabriella appeared at the doorway. She looked quite nervous and a little unsure, "Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi," Troy tilted his head up to put his chin on his knees rather than his forehead.

"Chad called me," she said.

"I know."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"I made a mistake."

"Ok."

"And I was stupid and I am really sorry."

"Forgiven."

"Can you please talk to me, not these one or two word answers," she said obviously upset. She came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed just as Chad had been moments before.

"What on earth could I possibly do to make you mad at me?" He asked just about a whisper.

"It was just a big misunderstanding and my forgetfulness of some key information until tonight when Chad called. But the time you came by my house I was already all worked up and ready to be mad at you that it all go blown out of proportion, it wasn't suppose to be this way.

"You didn't give me a what in all of that," Troy said looking at her as she looked down and messed with his blanket on his bed.

"Because I don't like it. And I'm a little ashamed of how stupid I was."

"You to talk ashamed? I'm the one who is and should be ashamed. I'm the one who tried to kill myself! I'm the one seeing a therapist and she is one of the few reasons I am still sane right now. So don't talk to me about being ashamed. If you do, you can walk right back out that door," Troy said almost losing control. Gabriella shrank back a few inches. Troy had never had an outburst like that around her. It even sent chills to Chad hidden in the corner. He hadn't ever heard Troy talk about it like that. Troy always referred to it as an OD attempt of just plain attempt. Chad couldn't recall Troy ever using the word kill or suicide. It was just slightly frightening.

"Troy, I'm sorry. I was stupid. It was Taylor, but you can't blame her. She was trying to watch out for me. She heard you and Chad talking about a girl named Shannon and that you had been seeing her for over a year and a half. And in my blind anger and hurt I forgot that Shannon was the name of your therapist. And Taylor doesn't know so it's not her fault at all. If it is anyone's, it's mine," Gabriella pleaded with a single teardrop.

Troy dropped his head down so his forehead was once more on his knees before he started to speak, "Why, why would I ever, EVER do that?" He said from behind his knees, "When I thought I made it so clear to you that you make my life so much for bearable?"

"I wasn't thinking, I was stupid," She scooted back forward and laid a hand on the top of his head, "And I am sorry," she stopped for a second to think about what she wanted to say next, "I am just so used to seeing you so happy and so I forget. I forget about the bad stuff. And I know it makes me sound like a horrible friend and girlfriend, but I was just use to you being good. I am not use to it like your parents and Chad are. But I am getting use to it. And after tonight, I won't ever be forgetting again. I see you happy, and the bad disappears from my mind and it is still in the back of my mind but the bigger part is thinking, he's good, the bad is gone, and it doesn't think about it coming back."

Troy lifted his head to look at her, and her hand fell to the bed, "Well then I am sorry that I have been such a burden to you. I should have never told you."

"Yes you should have. I am glad you did. It was just overwhelming at first, but it's not anymore. Because I like being that little ray of sunshine you have talked about. I don't like being the rain cloud I was tonight. And now it is all in prospective to me of what I mean to you. And I can see that it is a big responsibility, but I am ready to take it on, I want to take it on. Because I hate seeing you like this Troy. I really hate it. I care so much about you. I don't want to cause you pain like I did tonight. It is eating at me that I did this. And I feel so guilty. It was just a misunderstanding that got blown way, way out of proportion. And I really want to fix it," He voice started to crack as tears fell.

Troy slid his right leg out flat, "Come here," he beckoned her forward and pulled her into a hug. He pulled her up the bed so they could each remain in a sitting position. Troy's eyes found Chad's in the corner. Troy made a small, sharp nod at the door. Chad nodded, understanding his dismissal. He got up silently and made his way out of his friend's room.

Troy started to talk softly in Gabriella's ear, "Please, please, just talk to me if you are ever mad at me. If I screwed up, I will tell you, I won't deny it. And I won't play the blame game. I'll take my part of the blame and not push it on someone else. All my time in therapy has taught me that if it is done the right way, talking can work almost anything out. So will you just talk to me next time okay?"

"Okay," Gabriella pulled back to wipe off her tears.

"Thank you," Troy leaned forward to kiss her lightly before hugging her again.

--------------------

**AN: And cut! Yes that is very long for me. Please leave me a review telling me what you think. I hope to get the next chapter up by the weekend or sooner.**


	6. Code: Unperfect

**AN: Here is the next chapter, thank you to those of you who reviewed the last chapter.**

Chapter 6

The next day was an awkward one for the four teens. Troy tended to hide behind Gabriella around Taylor. Troy wasn't mad at Taylor; he just couldn't look at her without being ashamed of himself. Taylor noticed and started to ask questions several times, but was always interrupted by Chad. "What can I not know!" she finally burst with frustration, "If it is about what I did yesterday, I'm sorry! Ok, I know now, but I was watching out for my best friend. I'm sorry I screwed up. But you guys won't let me know why it is I screwed up and I am sick of not knowing."

"You're already forgiven, and you were never blamed," Troy said.

"Then what is it?" Taylor asked loudly.

"Lets do something, go somewhere," Gabriella said. They were all sitting around Gabriella's living room.

"Let's not. Now I know I sound bitchy, but you aren't telling me something that you all know. Gabriella knows, Chad knows, Troy you know, I want to know. I'm tired of being out of the loop. This is nonsense," Taylor stopped them from moving.

Troy and Chad exchanged a few looks before getting up and walking out of earshot, "She's right," Troy whispered.

"I know," Chad said also whispering.

"Tell her," Troy said.

"What?" Chad asked a little to loudly and the girls heard him.

"You tell her. I can't, but you can. I know you can. And you offered to do it last night. Use what ever you need, just do it," Troy continued, quietly.

"You sure about this dude?" Chad asked.

"Yes, I may look like a coward, but I know I can't do it, so I am not going to try. And I know she should know. Just tell her everything: Andy, Michigan, Shannon, the OD attempt, anything of importance that you think she should know."

"Ok man, and you are not a coward."

"Yeah I am. Gabriella will go to that park that is down the road. Meet us there afterwards ok?"

"Ok," Chad nodded.

"And tell her not to look at me funny or ask questions or act any different around me. I just want things to be normal again," Troy added.

"Got it," Chad said and both boys walked back over to the waiting girls.

"Come on," Troy pulled Gabriella to her feet and then pulled her out the door, "Chad is going to tell her."

"You don't want to be there?" Gabriella asked him as they started to walk down the sidewalk.

"I can't, not right now, and she deserves to know. But I just can't handle it right now," Troy said.

They walked in silence for a moment, "Troy, where are we going?" Gabriella asked.

"The park. Chad and Taylor will – or at least hopefully Taylor will – be meeting us there after Chad tells her."

"Taylor will come," Gabriella said reassuringly.

Troy looked at the ground and shook his head, "Come on lets have some fun, put a smile on the pretty face."

Gabriella smiled as they entered the park. They wondered around a bit before messing around on the swings. They saw Chad and Taylor entering the park, both just a little subdued. They spotted Troy and Gabriella and walked over to them, "Hey guys," Gabriella said rather chipper.

"Hey," Chad said with a nod. Taylor stared at Troy for a moment before looking at the ground when he looked at her.

"We need to have some fun," Gabriella said.

"Well Miss Fun, what do you suggest we do?" Troy asked.

"I have an idea, but first Troy stand up," Gabriella ordered.

"Ok, my next question is why?" Troy asked standing up, confused. Gabriella took of her flip-flops and put them together before tucking them into the back pocket of Troy's shorts. "So to add to my previous question, I want these why?"

"Taylor so the same, only I'd prefer with Chad rather than my boyfriend," Gabriella ordered. Everyone looked at her strangely as Taylor did so.

"Why are we doing this?" Chad asked.

"Because, TAG! Your it!" She tapped Chad and ran away. Troy and Taylor looked at Chad before scattering also. Chad looked at all of them and decided to chase after his girlfriend. She squealed when she realized he was chasing after her. There was no way she was going to out run him as she zigzagged through kids playing on a jungle gym. Chad caught up to her and grabbed her by the waist, picking her up and swinging her around. She laughed as he set her on the ground. He patted her on the head and yelled, "TAG! Taylor's it!" Then he sped off. Taylor looked around guess that she wouldn't be able catch either of the boys; she was in search of Gabriella. Gabriella wasn't shocked that Taylor was going after her. They circled a flowerbed before Gabriella ran off in the direction of the swings. Troy was leaning against one of the poles that was supporting the swings, he saw Gabriella coming towards him with Taylor not too far behind. Gabriella ran right by him. Taylor passed him too before realizing it. When she turned around to look at him, he was still standing there grinning at her.

She took a chance and ran after him. He was way to fast for her and took a bigger lead in front of her by leaping over an empty par bench that she had to go around. She gave up on him and went back to trailing after Gabriella. Taylor eventually got her after cutting through the monkey bars. "TAG! Gabriella's it!" She yelled and then ran off.

The game went on for a while until Gabriella collapsed under a tree, claiming she was exhausted. Taylor quickly agreed and sat down next to her. "Aw, come on," Chad whined.

"We don't play sports, so we have no endurance unlike you two," Gabriella reasoned.

"Fine," Chad said and sat down too.

"Are we stopping?" Troy jogged over to the others.

"Too tired," Gabriella said.

"I'm thirsty," Taylor complained.

"Me too," Gabriella agreed.

"Girls?" Chad rolled his eyes, "Sit down dude."

Troy realized he was still standing and sat down, "Maybe I like standing."

"Maybe you are weird," Chad said.

"Hey don't call my boyfriend weird," Gabriella said kicking Chad in the leg.

"Hey, don't kick my boyfriend," Taylor kicked Gabriella.

"Don't kick my girlfriend," Troy kicked Taylor.

Chad just kicked Troy with out saying anything, and a kicking war started until Chad called, "ENOUGH! We'll go home looking like we were in a fight. And I could get grounded for that."

"Aw, poor Chad, you could say you were defending me," Taylor offered.

"You can defend yourself with out me," Chad said.

"True," Taylor nodded. They sat in silence for a while.

"I'm bored," Gabriella complained.

"Me too," Troy agreed.

"You sound like little kids," Taylor said.

"Ok, well this will interest Troy," Chad started, "Robert is moving to Phoenix and he gave me a box that he said had my stuff in it that he had found while cleaning out his house. He obviously didn't want it and didn't know if it wanted it, so now I have a box of my old lost stuff sitting on my bed."

"Did you open it?" Troy asked.

"Nope, I can't may myself look in it," Chad said messing with a blade of grass.

"I bet our old nerf ball is in there, you know the one we use to throw around like all the time until you lost it."

"Yeah, Andy gave me a black eye with it cause I wasn't paying attention," Chad said.

Troy laughed, "You were trying to impress that neighbor girl who's like in college now."

"She was hot," Chad said and Taylor hit him on the back of the head, "Ow! I said was not is."

"She's like five years older than us," Troy said.

"So a guy could dream. I bet there is a pair of swimming trunks in there too," Chad recalled.

"Yeah, he always left his swim suit there. Even when we constantly reminded him to make sure he had it, he found a way to leave it there," Troy told the girls.

"And that pink shirt my grandmother got me for Christmas. I hated it so much, so I accidentally-on-purpose left it there," Chad said.

"Hey! What about that watch too, that you like obsessed with for a while until you lost it. We could never find it at your house, I bet you left it there," Troy remembered, snapping his fingers.

"Yeah, it was waterproof and had a compass and did all sorts of things," Chad said getting rather excited at the memory.

"And you were constantly telling us which direction we were going. I always had the suspicion that Andy took it and hid it because she got so annoyed with you."

"You could have told me I was annoying you."

"Yeah, but you got so excited and enjoyed it so much, I think that Andy didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"And you."

"I was ready to take it and chuck in the street when a car was coming."

"But letting me think that I lost it was better?"

"I didn't do it!"

"You were an accomplice probably."

"Nope, it was all Andy. You were the one being a bad influence on her, not me."

"I was not."

"You were the one teaching her how to make the perfect spit ball, not me."

"It was seventh grade."

"No excuse."

"What else is there to do in study hall?"

"Um, study, no wonder you almost failed math."

"You did too!"

"No I didn't, I always had a low to middle 'B' all year."

"I had a middle 'C' all year."

"Except around parent conferences. I was at your house when Judy came storming in and yelled at you for having a 68 percent. That is a 'D' in my books."

"It was right after a really hard test."

"Over?"

"Inequalities. That stuff was hard with the shading and dashed or solid line and all that."

"Ok, I will give you that because I think I failed that test too."

"I told you so."

"I wonder if I'll get a box too?" Troy wondered allowed.

"Open them together if you do," Chad said, "I'd be surprised if you didn't get a box. You were there more than I was."

"Then why don't we go see?" Gabriella asked, "Sitting here or sitting there is the same." The girls had sat back to watch the boys argue like little kids. The girls stood up and dusted themselves off and straightened their shirts.

"Hey, you ok?" Chad asked Troy quietly.

"As long as it stays all good," Troy said standing up.

"Will you carry me?" Gabriella looked at Troy. Troy rolled his eyes and nodded. "Yay!" She jumped on his back, almost knocking him over.

Taylor took her shoes out of Chad's pocket and put them on before they walked out of the park and to Troy's house. It wasn't too terribly far, but far enough, Troy had to ask Gabriella to get off. She obliged and slid off.

"That's Robert's car," Chad pointed to a car in Troy's driveway, "I saw it when he dropped off my box."

"I bet he's in talking to my dad," Troy said as they past Robert's car. "Dad?" Troy called out upon entering the house.

"Kitchen," Jack said, the four teens walked in, "Troy, you remember Robert right?"

"Yeah, spent a lot of time at his house, Andy's uncle," Troy said shaking the older man's hand.

"Yeah, I'm moving to Phoenix for my job. While cleaning out the house I found some of your old stuff, it is all in a box in the living room," Robert said, "And while looking through my files I found this," Robert pulled out an envelope, "It's got your name on it. And there is no mistaking Andy's curly y's. I didn't look inside," Robert handed Troy the envelope.

"Thanks," Troy said staring at the familiar handwriting.

"Right, I must be off. It's been nice talking to you Jack," Robert said shaking hands with Jack before getting up to leave. Jack walked Robert to the door and bid him another farewell before closing the front door behind him.

"Go get your man, we'll open them together like you said," Troy said to Chad as they walked into the living room and noticing the cardboard box with his name on it. "Take my car, it'll be faster than walking," Troy picked up his keys and tossed them to Chad.

"I'll be right back," Chad slipped out of the house.

"You ok son?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, Chad had already told me," Troy said, "Don't go pulling a mom on me."

"I'll be outside, answer the phone if it rings please," Jack said before exiting the house.

"So that was Robert," Troy told the two girls, "Basically if our parents didn't let us do something, we went to Robert's and did it. Had a lot of pillow fights there." The girls nodded and let the awkward silence fill the room waiting for Chad to come back.

"I'm back," Chad announced, walking through the door carrying a matching cardboard box only with his name on it. "Ready to open?" Chad asked sitting down.

"As I'll ever be," Troy said. They both looked at their boxes not opening them.

"How 'bout on three?" Gabriella suggested.

"One," Chad said, nodding.

"Two," Troy said nervously.

"Three," They said together pulling up on the flaps of the boxes to reveal the contents.

"I do have the nerf ball," Chad said pulling out a faded, lime green ball.

"Hey, I use to love this shirt. I thought my mom lost it in the wash or gave it away," Troy pulled out a blue shirt with a shark on it and had 'Florida' stitched below it.

"Yeah, you got it that year all three families went to Florida and you wore it like all the time," Chad said looking at the shirt Troy was holding up, "Ha, I got at least three old pairs of swimming shorts in here. Don't know what I am suppose to do with them," Chad said tossing out three different pairs of shorts, each a different size and shade of green.

"Whoa, look at this, it's that stupid certificate Robert made me for winning the watermelon seed spitting contest we held in his back yard," Troy said pulling out a slightly yellowed and crinkled piece of paper.

"And I still think you cheated," Chad said pulling out another piece of his past.

"Sore loser," Troy mocked as they continued to pull out different nostalgic items and reliving parts of their past.

"Christmas in July," Chad said.

"Considering it is still the last day of June and all this stuff used to be ours to begin with," Troy said.

"Same difference," Chad rolled his eyes, "So are you going to open that letter?"

It lay on the table with all the other stuff not totally forgotten. "I don't know," Troy looked at it, "I don't know what I'll find in there."

"Open it, you'll never know until you do and will drive yourself insane trying to figure it out," Chad told him.

"I'm already insane," Troy said.

"No you're not, now open it," Chad ordered.

"You open it and hand me what's inside," Troy passed the envelope to Chad.

"Fine," Chad said. He turned it over. The flap wasn't sealed, just tucked in. He pulled it out and then took out the contents and handed them to Troy. He looked inside to make sure it was empty.

Troy looked at the papers in his hands, folded into thirds. He looked around the living room at his friends, he saw his dad standing in the doorway. Jack gave him a slight nod and an encouraging smile. Troy slowly unfolded the papers and started to read.

_Dear Troy,_

_You are probably wondering why I am writing you a letter and I could be mean and tell you just to think about it and it will come to you. But then again, I know how hard thinking is for you, laugh please. If you recall I always said that a handwritten letter was romantic. And you know me, the hopeless romantic. But that is why I have you, my sweet boy. I love you very, very much, never forget that. _

_And I know right now you are mad at me with the whole James Robinson thing. But I can tell you that Mrs. Grouch - I mean Mrs. Couch - is a bitch. She likes seeing students suffer, and by students I mean the three amigos and especially you and me ever since she caught us making out. Oh, well, that was fun while it lasted. But I can tell you Robinson is a total asshole. He is arrogant and not you and annoying and not you and whiny and still not you. I just may kill him during this – lovely – project of ours. So don't worry about me. But if something happens, I will tell you and let you kick his pansy ass._

_So this letter that was suppose to be all sweet went from being that to having three cuss words in it. Blame Chad. Hopefully he'll get over this phase real quick. I think he will once Judy says something to him or I will tell him to save it for the court. And getting back to being sweet, I want to thank you for the daisies I found in my locker. You remembered that I find roses lame and cliché. They are sitting right next to me now on my desk._

_And now if you have accepted everything I have said so far, I though we could have some fun Friday night. Ditch Chad to start with, for the night only so he doesn't get mad – though I think we could get him tied up with Sasha Baker, I weaseled it out of her that she likes him – then you and me head down to out ice cream parlor. And there, I challenge you to a hot fudge sundae eating contest, the first one to finish wins. I know you won't let me win which adds to why I love you. And when I was downtown with my momma last night, I noticed in one of the stores a very non-committed looking girl working the register. And you know what I am thinking? WINDOW GAME!_

_If not, we can head to the theatre there and find a comedy or something to watch. I won't drag you to a sappy romance, but I will tell you, that if for some reason or another, I let you beat up Robinson, I think that would put me in the mood for an action movie. And being a guy – even though not a normal one, just kidding – you cannot turn that offer down. So this is getting a little long, I should end it._

_And my last note here, you know me, the tortured but loved writer – just don't tell Chad. I wrote something and attached a copy of it here for you. I think you will like it. I was thinking of you and Chad while writing it, but mostly you._

_I love you so much, I can't tell you enough. Ok, getting clingy and annoying so I'll stop that since I am also starting to annoy myself._

_I love you and am forever yours,_

_Addie_

Troy wiped off his eyes and looked at the last piece of paper. There was a title on it – 'My Best Friend'. Troy took a deep breath before starting to read again.

_You're the one I can rely on_

_When I want to go in hiding_

_That one I can trust_

_To confide in all my secrets to_

_The one I can run to_

_When I hold my head in shame_

_When I need help_

_You're always there_

_And in the end_

_You're always my best friend_

Troy stared at these words. They were Andy, they were very Andy. "What's it say?" Chad finally asked what they all wanted to know.

"It's a love letter, sort of. Andy never could stay on one topic for very long could she? It was freshman year when I was mad at her about the whole James Robinson thing. She always thought that handwritten letters were romantic so she went and wrote me one," Troy said, "Not totally sweet, but if it was, it wouldn't be Andy. Can, uh, can I have a moment please?"

"Yeah, sure, clear out," Chad said standing up, "We'll be in the kitchen or out back."

As Gabriella stood up, Troy grabbed her wrist, "Stay," he whispered. She nodded and sat back down. After the others left Troy handed Gabriella the letter and poem, "Read it."

"What?" Are you sure?" Gabriella asked, surprised.

"Yeah, meet Andy, or as close as you'll ever get," Troy said. Gabriella looked at him still a little unsure, "Please, I need you to read it."

"Ok," Gabriella said, flattening out the papers and starting to read. Troy laid his head on her shoulder and skimmed along with her. He didn't really get reactions from her as he had hoped for. After finishing the letter she flipped to the poem and read it too, quickly. "Wow," was all she could say.

"That was Andy, that is Andy. That's what I was in love with, a quirky, air head that was secretly a writer," Troy said, "Chad never knew about her writing, only me."

"That was written at 14?" Gabriella asked.

"She was 15 actually by that time, I would be in about a month and Chad was still a long way away from being 15," Troy said.

"Well, what do you want me to say? I don't really care. It's an old love letter from an old girlfriend that you were really in love with," Gabriella said.

"How can you not care?" Troy asked.

"Well, are you still in love with her or something? Because that doesn't bother me either as long as you realize that I'm the one here and the one that is real and the one who now is finding love with you here and now," Gabriella said.

"I-" Troy didn't know what to say to that.

"Are you? Be honest with me please," Gabriella pleaded.

"I don't know. I don't know anymore. I want to hate her. If it weren't for her, I probably wouldn't be this way. But she's Andy. She's my Addie. And I don't know anymore," Troy said, "And I don't know how you don't care about this. Because you don't deserve it. You deserve the best. And I am far from it. And-"

"Shut up right there," Gabriella cut in, "I deserve you. I want you. I want the guy with the broken heart. The only thing I want ever to be perfect is my nothing. Everything can be a screwed up and unperfect. I don't believe in perfection."

"Unperfect is not a word," Troy said.

"My speech can my unperfect, my clothes, my car, the guy I like, my friends, my mom, me, everything. Unperfect is a part of life and I like it. When people picture perfect and then get it, it usually ends up not being perfection. The unperfections are what make life interesting. And I want an interesting life to tell," Gabriella said.

"You want me, the guy who has probably cried more tears than you have?" Troy asked her, disbelievingly.

"Yes I do. You are one of a kind Troy Bolton. And you are the best actor on the face of the planet with your façades. And then the person you are behind them is better than I could ever imagine. I like you a lot with your past and all. Because everyone has a past, including me. Mine may not be as interesting or action filled, but I do have one. I didn't just materialize the day you met me," Gabriella said.

"Ok," was all Troy could say.

"Now lets do something. This letter made me think of ice cream and I happen to be starving," Gabriella said getting up.

Troy stood up and smiled. So he hadn't yet figured out all his feelings with Andy and Gabriella yet, but he was getting there. And Gabriella was patient with him and he was forever grateful for it. And now he was hungry too.

---------------------

**AN: There you go, I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please leave me a review telling me what you think.**


	7. Code: Confused

**AN: So thank you to all that reviewed. I am so, so, so sorry about the delay, also I had some major writers block has been occurring and so it may seem that I am rambling throughout this chapter and sometimes I hit a point of the story and others I have no point at all other than to just fill space.**

Chapter 7

The letter from Andy threw Troy's life into a little bit of a funk. He started to see random memories everywhere. And he was no longer in the day to day way of life but to a moment to moment type of thing. The people surrounding him tried to remain patient with him, but tensions started to run a little higher than normal. A few outbursts were dealt with; most things simmered beneath the surface though and never came into play.

"Are you getting up today?" Jack asked standing in the doorway of Troy's bedroom around eleven. Troy didn't respond, so Jack walked in and sat down on the edge of his bed and shook him lightly, "Troy, wake up."

Troy groaned from beneath his pillow, "Don't wanna."

"Come on," Jack took his pillow, "Your mom will expect you up when she gets home for lunch."

"I feel like crap," Troy moaned pulling his covers over his head.

"Like how? As in physically or mentally?" Jack asked, pulling the covers back down.

"Both. My body feels like crap which in turns makes my mind hurt too."

"That doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but ok. Can I get you anything?"

"Something for my head."

"Like headache or migraine?"

"Now? Headache."

"I'll be back," Jack said walking out and into his own room and then down to the kitchen. During this time, Troy grabbed his pillow and pulled his covers back over his head once more and closed his eyes, but quickly reopened them and stared at a spot on his blanket. A few minutes later he felt his father's weight on the bed again. Jack pulled back the blanket, "Sit up," Jack ordered. Troy pulled himself into a sitting position with his eyes barely open. Jack handed him a bottle of water and two blue tablets. Troy took them expertly with just a sip of water. "So where all does it hurt?" Jack asked feeling Troy's forehead.

"Um everywhere: my head, my stomach, my throat, my whole body," Troy croaked sliding back under the covers.

"And your head the most?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," Troy nodded, but that hurt his head too.

"And this makes your mind hurt how?"

"It just does. Like my head is spinning and my eyes hurt too."

"You know you are going to go through this all with your mom when she gets home in a few minutes."

"I know."

"Would you like me call Chad?"

"Yeah, please."

"There is the garage door, mom's home. I'll call Chad."

"Thanks," Troy said as Jack's weight was lifted from the bed. He heard his mom call out a hello and then pulled his blanket over his head again only to have them ripped from his grasp again by his mom.

"What's wrong sweetheart?" Sara asked.

"Ask dad," Troy said pulling his pillow over his head.

"I already did," Sara said.

"Then you already know," Troy said, muffled by his pillow.

"Did he take your temp? I want to feel your head." Troy groaned, but threw his pillow down by his feet all the same. "Thank you," Sara said, pressing her hand against his forehead. "It doesn't feel hot," she commented as she brushed the back of her fingers over his cheeks. "I'm getting the thermometer, don't move."

"Never planned on it," Troy said. He was trying to move his pillow up to where he could reach it with out sitting up using his feet and knees. It finally got close enough to where if he scrunched down a little, he could grab it. As he was replacing it behind his head, his mom came back in with the thermometer. She stuck it in his mouth and press the button. They waited, looking around his room until it beeped. When if finally did, Sara pulled it out and looked at it, "99.8, just a little above normal."

"Satisfied?" Troy asked.

"Very, would you like anything to eat or drink?" Sara asked standing up.

"I just want to sleep," Troy said.

"Ok, I hope you feel better soon," Sara kissed his forehead before departing from the room. Troy pulled his covers over his head once more and fell asleep. The next time he woke up was not as forceful as before.

He threw off his blanket, he was sweating. He looked over to see Chad sitting in his desk chair, holding a book? "How long have you been here?" Troy asked, rubbing his eyes.

"About two hours," Chad said.

"Dude, are you reading?" Troy asked.

"No, it's," Chad started; Gabriella entered the room, "Her book."

"What are you doing here?" Troy asked rubbing his eyes again to make sure she was really there.

"Your mom called, so here I am," she said sitting in a folding chair that Troy just noticed was there.

"You gave her the uncomfortable seat?" Troy shot a look at Chad.

"How do you feel?" Gabriella asked after Chad opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking like a fish.

"Like crap," Troy said before a coughing fit seized him. He spied the bottle of water from before on his nightstand and downed some of it.

"Well, I'm glad you up, I'm bored," Chad complained.

"I'd gladly switch places with you," Troy said, "Come over here and I'll sneeze on you."

"Let's play a game," Gabriella interrupted before a bickering match could ensue.

"Not tag," Troy said.

"What about a board game or a card game," Gabriella suggested.

"We have monopoly downstairs," Troy told her.

"Chad go get it," Gabriella ordered.

"Why me?" Chad whined.

"Because Troy is sick and you know the house better than I do," Gabriella said, and it was logical so he couldn't argue with it. Chad grumbled as he got up and went downstairs to fetch the game. Troy sat up and leaned against his headboard, hugging his pillow to his stomach. Gabriella got up and sat down on one side of his bed, "What cha thinkin' 'bout?" She asked looking at his serious face.

Troy was pulled out of his thoughts or more of a flashback. "Andy, and this one time I was sick when I was like twelve. I think I had like a really bad cold or something. And she wanted to do something for me so she heated up Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup and then serve it to me in bed. But she tripped in the doorway and it went all over my bed. I think it even burned my feet through all my blankets. And yeah, I just saw it playing out in front of me."

Gabriella was laughing quietly, "Well, I promise not to do that."

"That is one of the few times I can ever recall being sick. There was the chicken pox at age six and strep throat at age seven and then that cold at age 12 and now this. I've probably had some strain of a cold every winter, but it never really bothered me or changed my lifestyle."

"Lifestyle?" Gabriella looked at him strangely.

"Like made me stay home from school or stopped me from going some where or doing something," Troy explained.

"Lifestyle," Gabriella repeated, laughing.

"Hey, I liked my word choice," Troy defended himself.

"It was very interesting word choice," Gabriella giggled.

"Shut up," Troy pouted.

"Aww," Gabriella crawled up by him and laid her head on his shoulder, "Now that was really cute."

A chuckle rumbled through Troy's body as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "Thank you," he said kissing the top of her head.

"You're welcome," She murmured.

"And I mean it for everything. Sticking with me throughout all my drama and turmoil. I think I'm really lucky to have found you. And I try not to take you for granted, but I think I do anyways without knowing it. And..."

"Troy, shut up," Gabriella cut in.

"I am not shutting up about you," Troy continued on, "Cause I think you should know. That sometimes when I'm with you, Andy seems light years ago and it doesn't hurt anymore. And then I'm ready to be totally over Andy and just let her go. So I can fully be with you. Cause I want to. I want to be yours. I want to be able to love you. And sometimes I feel like I can."

"Are you going to stop now?" Gabriella asked, "I like hearing this, but it is so not necessary."

"Ok, I can stop if you let me sleep," Troy said laying his head on top of hers.

"I wonder what is taking Chad so long?" Gabriella wondered aloud.

"Probably got locked in the closet," Troy said.

"Is that even possible?" Gabriella asked, disbelievingly.

"Nope," they both chuckled and then settled down into sleep.

-------------------

They woke up hours later. Chad and Taylor were on the floor playing a heated game of monopoly. Taylor was obviously winning as she had on the happy face and Chad had on the sad face. "Afternoon sleepyheads," Taylor said looking up from the game as Troy and Gabriella started to move.

"Taylor?" Troy asked rubbing his eyes as he sat up more, not leaning against the headboard. This caused Gabriella to slip from beneath his arm and down behind his back.

"Yes, I am actually here and not an illusion," Taylor said as she rolled the dice.

"Taylor?" Gabriella asked sitting up next to Troy.

"Gabriella," Taylor nodded, moving her playing piece.

"What are you doing here?" Gabriella asked wrapping her arms around Troy and placing her chin on his shoulder.

"I called Chad and he told me what was happening here and when he came up to Troy's room, you guys were asleep and so I came over to keep him company and we started this game," Taylor said as Chad took his turn.

"I'm going back to sleep," Troy said closing his eyes again and scrunching down under the covers to a laying position. You that feeling of the more you sleep, the sleepier you get? That was how Troy felt, he had been sleeping all night and then all day; it was really a waste of a day.

Gabriella got up and joined the monopoly game, playing banker. The three started to chatter as Troy drifted off to sleep again.

The fourth time Troy woke up that day was forceful like the first time. "Get up sweetheart," Sara was shaking him gently.

"What time is it?" Troy groaned as he rolled over and started to open his eyes, rubbing them.

"Just past six. Your friends are downstairs. It's time for dinner, you need to eat," Sara said, "So get up." Troy groaned and threw off his blankets. He sat up and swung his legs off his bed. "How long does it take you to get up? Should I call the world record people?"

"Mom!" Troy couldn't believe his mom would say such a thing, "I haven't gotten up all day, I'm a little weak. What's your problem?"

"Everyone is waiting on you," Sara said, "I will save you from others reasons that I am irritable."

"Thank you," Troy stood up and followed his mom downstairs. Everyone was seated around the dining room table. Taylor and Chad were seated on one side and Gabriella on the other side next to an empty seat. His dad was seated at one end and his mom was taking the seat at the other. Troy took the empty seat and surveyed what was on the table.

"Being sick I thought that some good ole mac and cheese might be best for you," Sara indicated to a bowl near him on the table.

"Thanks mom," Troy said as everyone started to dig in.

His friends went home after dinner and Troy went back to bed and slept all night.

"I wonder if we should take him to the doctor's?" Sara thought out loud that night in the living room reading a book as Jack was reading the paper.

"It's a cold or something, he'll be fine in a few days," Jack said, glancing up, "Besides if he ends up getting medicine it could mess with the stuff he's taking from Shannon and then we have to put up with a pissy Troy which I can do with out."

"You'd sacrifice your son's health so you wouldn't have to deal with an irritable him?" Sara looked at him.

"If he's not better in a few days, yes we could, but it has just been one day. And we know he would be complaining all the way to the doctor's office," Jack said.

"I suppose you are right," Sara said looking back to her back.

"Every little thing that goes wrong with him doesn't call for a hospital visit. Troy can handle himself," Sara started to protest and Jack continued louder over her, "Physically. I'm not talking about all that mental stuff, though he is getting better mentally too everyday. But when it comes to a person's body, only they know how they are feeling, you can't tell him that he is feeling bad enough to go to the doctors."

"Whatever Jack, but if he isn't better in a few days, I want you to take him to the doctors," Sara sighed.

"I will, I know how to take care of our kid Sara. Ok, I work with kids; I know how they tick. And I'll take him when I find it necessary," Jack went back to reading the paper.

"Fine," Sara went back to reading her book.

-------------------

The next day Troy graduated to laying on the couch all day watching movies with Gabriella and his dad. And then the third day was better and he actually got up and did stuff.

"What cha you doin'?" Gabriella asked the fourth day after, walking into his room. Troy was lying on his bed and appeared to be writing.

"I am writing," Troy said looking up at her.

"I can see that silly, I meant what are you writing?" Gabriella sat on the end of his bed.

"The truth?" Troy asked.

"No I want a lie," Gabriella said sarcastically, "Yes the truth."

"A letter. I found Andy's letter and read it again. So I thought about what I would say to her now and some how got to writing a letter. I am trying to figure out what I would say to her if I saw her right now. And I have no idea what it would be," Troy said setting his pencil down on his notebook. "I have gone through about five pages each with different ideas. But I don't know what she would say I don't know how I would react and say."

"So it should be like a monologue of what all you would tell her," Gabriella nodded and suggested.

"I don't know what I'd say to her. I love her; I hate her. I never what to see her again; I want her to come back. Every contradiction you can think of applies here. Nothing is making sense here does it Gabriella?"

"Nah, I got, you are still a little confused, but it's ok, when the right words come, you'll know it. They'll come, just be patient."

"I've been patient for two years. I tired of not being able to find the right words. I'm tired of things being so confusing. I want to figure this out, now, but I can't," Troy said frustrated, picking his pencil back up and erasing something he had written.

"Ok, set down the pencil, put away the paper, this frustration will only get you more frustrated. You are taking a break with me," Gabriella said taking the items he had in his hands and setting them on his desk. Against his protest the dragged him to his feet and out the door. "Don't ask me what we are doing, but we are doing something and once we've done it I will be able to tell you what we are doing," Gabriella said pulling him by his hand out his front door and down the sidewalk.

"As much as this is not helping me," Troy started.

"Yes it is, now take a deep breath, breath the fresh air, it is good for you. Now, what is Chad up to today? I know Taylor is watching Theo again today and I talked to Kelsi last night, I thought about maybe hanging out with her sometime," Gabriella rambled on. Troy sighed and listened as she tried to change his mind focus, "So what do you think?"

"I don't care, I'm just following you. You are the one in control right now," Troy didn't know what she was asking about since he hadn't really been listening; the words went in one ear and out the other.

"Code for you weren't listening."

"Ok, so you caught me not paying attention."

"Why am I here?" Gabriella wondered out loud.

"Um..." Troy didn't know how she wanted him to respond.

"For now, I think it is to distract you, and apparently I am not doing my job, now come on, we are going to find something to do where you don't have time to think. Now to the park we go," Gabriella said rather definitely.

"Why the park?" Troy asked.

"Because it is a big open space that you can do a lot of stuff in."

"As in..." Troy led in.

"As in a child's games, hm, like did you ever do those hand games like Miss Mary Mack and there are like zillions of them out there. There are tons of things you can do in an open area."

"Yeah, that is what all the little girls do in elementary school, need I remind you that we are going into our senior year?"

"Nope, I know, but you have to retain your inner kid, but they like to come out every once in a while too."

"I really, really don't want to be a kid again."

"You don't have to be the kid you were ten years ago again, you just have to be a kid in the now not the past. Make any sense?"

"Not really and all the sense in the world."

"That's what I was going for."

"To confuse me?" Troy asked.

"Yep, it makes you think," Gabriella said proudly.

"Ok, so I am thinking and confused, if that was your goal you reached it."

"Well then I am really happy with reaching my goal, and," Gabriella said as they reached the entrance of the park, "TAG! You're it!" And she ran away. Troy stood there watching her for a second before comprehending and chasing after her.

"Is this the only game you know?" Troy shouted after her as he ran.

"No, but you didn't seem in the mood for something even more childish or girly like those hand-clapping games," Gabriella twirled after to face him as she ran to talk and then back around away from him to continue to elude him. "And there are only two of us so we can't do anything elaborate," she tossed over her shoulder.

"Who said anything about something elaborate?"

"You just did."

"And you're caught," Troy said wrapping his arms around her.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Gabriella asked looking up at him.

"I think I am going to kiss you."

"And you are waiting for..." she drifted off.

"Nothing," Troy said before leaning down to kiss her.

--------------------

**AN: So I wanted to add more and I really hate this chapter, there is no point to it really; I just needed something to fill in space. I know where I want to go, just getting there is a little hard. And I am sorry it was so long in between like two month, and I will begin work on the next chapter, but since school started forever ago, typing takes a back seat so it may take a while for the next chapter, hopefully not as long as this one. Still please leave me a review, I welcome you to tell me that this one sucked.**


	8. Code: Used To The Pain

**AN: I took a little bit different angle with this chapter tell me if you love or hate it.**

Chapter 8

"_I probably wouldn't be this way  
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad  
I never pictured every minute without you in it  
Oh You left so fast  
Sometimes I see you standing there  
Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch  
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much  
God gave me a moment's grace  
'Cause if I'd never seen your face  
I probably wouldn't be this way_"

She sang along to her ipod, it was a song that had been played the most over the past two years. It hit quite close to home, for if she'd never seen his face, she probably would be this way. The way for in which she was still trying to find her saving grace that not even the local church could provide. She could never go back and would never be better until she did. Catch – 22, that was life. The only to reason to be let out is to be insane and then write a request asking out, which proves you are sane, no way out. That was her life. Now way out.

Hang on to the past, let go of the once would be future, try to move on in the present. Do you know how hard that is? It's leaving while entering and saying goodbye when you should be saying hello. And you just take it day just by day, and ignore the people as they look at you. They look at the girl would like nothing more than to be wiped off the face of the earth now that she was in this desolate town, and say, 'Oh you poor girl, I am so sorry'. Like they really mean it. Not. Or those people who ask 'Why, why do you keep trying to take your life?' And then tell you that 'Oh you just are making it a bigger deal than it really is. Life is never that bad. Suck it up and move on'. She hated those people. They weren't in her place, they shouldn't tell her how to live. They didn't have their heart ripped out. They didn't know her pain. No one would ever know, at least no one in that town. You know that saying, you have to walk a mile in someone's shoes before you know what it is really like to be them? Well all those people who were telling her what to do hadn't, they hadn't walked ten feet in her shoes. She was guessing that only one other person had ever walked in her shoes and he didn't live in this town.

That was why she was going to try one last time. Her parents were stupid; they leave her grandmother's medicine right on the counter. She picked each one up to find the heaviest, which would mean had the most in it. She didn't bother to even look at the label. She just grabbed at bottle of water from the fridge and headed up to her room. She had figured out previously what she would leave behind by her side. She hit the print button on the computer and the lyrics began to roll out. And with a big black marker she wrote 'HERE IS THE ANSWER' She folded it in half and wrote 'To mom and dad, one last time' on top and placed it on her bed. She sat down in the middle of her floor and twisted the cap off the orange bottle. One by one, she threw them back, ignoring everything around her.

---------------------------

Whispering, everyone was whispering, but no one tell what really was happening. Secrets, secrets that would hurt to be kept, and hurt even more to tell, but all trying to keep him oblivious.

"Do you ever feel like everyone around you knows something you don't and no one will tell you what it is, or even admit there is something that is being kept from you?" He asked.

"Well a secret is not a secret if everyone knows it," She responded.

"Tell me a secret, something that no one else knows about you."

"I actually like to read Shakespeare, I know everyone hates and says that they don't understand it, but I like it. I guess I am into that poetry like of thing," she said.

"Well then I am normal because it makes no sense to me."

"What do you have to read as a senior? Hamlet? I'll explain it to you when we get to it. Then you will love it."

"I will if it gives me an excuse to study with you."

"You're a sap."

"I know," he grinned, "I openly admit my faults."

"What else will you openly admit?"

"I'm a hopeless romantic and I am a guy and I don't care."

"That's sweet. How did I get so lucky?"

"It's beyond me."

And a laugh rang through the air. Laughter, it is such a joyous thing, really. It seems to light up a place more than anything else and what else makes you feel so good afterwards other than laughter (keep your mind out of the gutter, there'll be none of that here).

"Is there anything you can tell me that no one else knows?"

"With my life, there are no secrets. If I don't tell my parents something, that gives them a reason to go ballistic and keep me locked in my room for several weeks where theoretically nothing can happen."

"So you don't have any secrets?"

"No secrets, you?"

"Well, how about this, I've always wanted to get a tattoo. Like a star on my foot or a ring of roses around my ankle or I don't know, something."

"You? A tattoo?'

"Yeah, tattoos aren't for the bikers and athletes. Anyone can get one."

"I just didn't think you'd be a person wanting a tattoo."

"What would you get if you got a tattoo?"

"I don't know, never really thought about it." He quieted for a while to think and she didn't say anything either. They lay there in the grass in the middle of the park just taking each other in as he thought. The breeze played with their hair and the sun warmed their skin. "I'd get hope in Chinese on my right bicep. You always have to have hope. Cause without it, life really sucks."

Gabriella looked up at his arm and imagined the tattoo there, "I like it." The silence wore on for a while longer; they both slipped off into a light doze. An ambulance screaming by brought them back to reality. "Troy?"

"Yeah," he looked down at her head lying on his stomach.

"Do you have hope in your life now?"

"Now? As in right this second?"

"Yeah, right this very second."

"Yes. At this very moment in time, I do."

"When was the last time you didn't have hope?"

"Before I opened the box from Robert."

Gabriella nodded, "And before that when was the last time that you had hope?"

"I don't know," he sighed, "I don't know, it may have gone all the way back to before Andy left. Or it might have been around the time I met you."

"Ok," she said simply.

"So you have any other secrets you want to share?"

"I am afraid of hospitals."

"Really?"

"Yeah, one time when my mom and I were in Chicago with my uncle, he had to go to the ER for something, I don't really remember, but mom and I rushed to the ER to see if he was all right. Well, my mom was in a rush, I wasn't really. We walked in there and there is just something about hospitals that freak me out and I ended up down the hallway from the ER curled up in a chair staring at a blank white wall singing Christmas carols because it was right after Christmas was over. And my uncle made fun of me about how I won't ever be able to have children unless I do a home birth because I wouldn't be able to go to the hospital. That is kinda of a secret my mom, uncle and now you know that besides me obviously knowing it."

"So what did you do when you had to go get a yearly checkup from your doctor."

"Well it is the whole ER thing, when you enter through like a main entrance that isn't the ER it doesn't really look like a hospital, it looks a little like a business office and so it's ok. Or I don't know, I think it is just that whole ER thing, cause you know, bad things happen in the ER, people die and are in serious conditions and I don't know, it is just scary and I don't like it."

"Hospitals, I'll remember that."

-------------------

_Little orange bottles_

_They are suppose to make everything better_

_The little and big sufferings_

_Aren't suppose to be there_

_With stacks of orange bottles,_

_But they feed addiction_

_They make liars out of the honest_

_With out them you shake and tumble_

_With them you are trapped inside_

Of little orange bottles 

_That are suppose to make the world ok_

And she was trapped, trapped where she didn't want to be. These little orange bottles don't give a lot of breathing room. And now she was in even more. More than she had ever been. And she was ready to burst. She had to get out. No matter what happened outside, it had to be better than trapped inside these bottles. She just knew it. The view of the outside always looks better when you are stuck on the inside. But you couldn't tell her that. She was so sure that the grass would be greener there, better that the orange interior. Orange is a really annoying color after awhile if you have ever noticed. And she was sick and tired of orange.

And after today, little did her parents know, that all those little orange bottles would be going to waste. She was getting to the outside if it killed her. She wouldn't be trapped anymore. She could deal with whatever lay on the outside because it couldn't be worse than what was on the inside. Or so she at least thought. Because the world wasn't ok from the inside, not anymore. If not being here didn't work, she would move where she was to someplace better.

---------------------

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" Jack asked as Troy and Gabriella were heading out the front door of the house, with a bucket of water balloons.

"Chad's house. A little birdie told us he was still asleep and we are going to wake him up," Troy said nonchalantly. This was becoming a normal thing. Sort of a war of waking each other up between Chad and Troy with the assistance of Gabriella for Troy and Taylor for Chad.

"Just clean up the mess, I don't want a call from his parents about it," Jack called after them.

"Got it," Troy threw over his shoulder as he closed the front door. He and Gabriella walked a few blocks over to Chad's house dragged the buckets of water balloons.

Once there, Troy knocked softly on the door. Chad's mom opened the door and let them in. She nodded in approval of the water balloon and then went back to the living room and reading the paper.

Troy and Gabriella crept upstairs and pushed open the door to Chad's room. They both cringed as the door creaked but the target was still fast asleep as they entered. They each grabbed a water balloon in each hand and took a position next to the bed. Chad was sleeping on his stomach with one arm off the bed in the crack between the mattress and the wall. And his blanket only on his left leg.

Troy and Gabriella grinned evilly at each other and then began a silent count off, mouthing 'Three, Two, One,' together and then throwing the balloons down on Chad's back.

His reaction was different then they thought it would be. His head popped up at them. He grinned like a maniac before letting out a primitive yell and pulling a water gun out from beside his bed in his right hand. Taylor came out of his closet holding a super soaker water gun too and war raged in Chad's room. Troy versus Chad and Gabriella versus Taylor. Troy and Gabriella were soon soaked and out of water balloons and thus surrendered.

The four collapsed on the drenched floor, Chad and Taylor high-fiving each other. "Serves you right," Chad said.

"You started this whole thing by waking me up with the radio cranked up all the way," Troy said recounting the memory. Chad had snuck into his room and turned the sound all the way up on Troy's alarm and then set it to go off two minutes later. Troy fell out of bed, dazed and confused before fumbling with his alarm to turn it off. And as soon as it was off he could hear Chad laughing outside he door. Troy had revenged that by waking Chad up by pouring red dyed water on Chad and yelling, "BLOOD!" really loud. Chad shot out of bed and looked at himself and started to freak out and was close to tears before finding Troy in his closed cracking up. It went back in forth and the girls started to get involved and this was now Chad's fifth wake up call.

"Now I have to figure out how to wake up next time," Chad said. They both still had plenty of ideas; they just needed to figure out which one to use. Chad and Troy both shared an understood look and knew what would come next.

--------------------

So the next morning at six AM, Chad and Troy crept over to Gabriella's house where Gabriella and Taylor had had a girls night the previous night like they had done every Sunday night that summer. They were both asleep sharing Gabriella's bed. Troy and Chad found this weird, but it was something the girls said that girls do. The guys agreed it was because girls can do it without be called gay unlike guys.

Anyways, the boys and buckets with a layer of baking soda at the bottom. They set them strategically around the room before opening bottles of vinegar and setting them next to each bucket. They started on the side of the room closest to the door and dumped in a bunch of vinegar into each bucket before moving onto the next bucket. They worked quickly to finish all the buckets before the girls woke up to the either the stench or the sound of the baking soda fizzling. Once done the boys snuck out to the balcony, leaving the doors open and hid in the tree to watch the scene unfold.

Gabriella woke up first, shifting uneasily as the smell got to her. She started to sit up, rubbing her eyes and looking around her room. The buckets were overflowing by now of course, and the mixture covered the floor and was starting to seep in. Gabriella's eyes went wide and she started to shake Taylor to wake up. Taylor grumpily woke, sitting up with her eyes still slightly closed. She winkled her nose as it took in the smell, popping her eyes open.

And Taylor knew just who to blame, "CHAD, TROY YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE!" She yelled, probably waking the whole neighborhood. The two girls could then hear the boys cackling outside. They crept outside staying on the tip of their toes to see the boys in the tree. "You know that is going to ruin the floor," Taylor said matter-of-factly.

And at that moment, Gabriella's mother came into the room with a carpet cleaner. One of those vacuums that did deep cleaning. She ended up hauling five of them into the room and they all got to work real quick cleaning up the room. The boys didn't want to cause any real damage so they got some help from Mrs. Montez of what to do the previous night when the girls were out. And but lunchtime, there was no evidence of the prank.

---------------------

"_Miles away and I can still hear him_

_As he picks up that old guitar and starts to play_

_Pluckin' along at that old melody_

_Must have played it half a million times before_

_He starts to sing along_

_And I can't resist anymore_

Keep on playin' my sweet boy, keep on playin' 

_Sing that old song we both know_

_And I will soon find my way back to you_

_As you hum that tune my sweet boy_

_And sing me home to you_"

She sang. She was going to find a way home. It had to help, even if it ended the way the world worked. The rest of the world could spin the wrong way for a while; she had to help herself if no one else would help her. Her parents wouldn't understand, and they wouldn't help her. You have do stuff yourself sometimes. And she was bound and determined to do it. She would find her way back home and everything would be like it was supposed to be. She would be loved, have friends, and have her future back to the way it was supposed to be. Her future wasn't made to be in this bleak town, it was supposed to be in the sunshine of New Mexico where the warm breeze would caress her skin as they kissed and he would run a hand through her hair. They would be in love and everything would be perfect again. Once she got back home.

------------------

The time soon came for Troy to spend a week at his Aunt's house. Aunt May was probably Troy's favorite Aunt, as she was the one who spoiled him the most. She was just now having her first child, so before, Troy had been her surrogate son. She was also the only family that lived in town, with everyone else in other cities in the southwest. Sara had decided it was best if Troy just stayed there the whole week, both night and day rather than just staying there while she was at work. Sara would join them each night for dinner, and help with the dishes before departing for home.

The second night, Tuesday, May invited Gabriella to join them for dinner and to stay awhile. What May really wanted was another, younger but feminine opinion of the nursery she was working on, or she had Troy working on. May had decided to make it a surprise of what sex the baby would be. Her husband, Henry was in the army and completing a tour in Iraq and was suppose to get home during her eighth month of pregnancy. And since he wouldn't be able to see the ultrasound and find out the same time as May, so she decided not to know either.

The walls were in the process of being painted a soft yellow color on three walls and wallpaper on one. The wallpaper had teddy bears on it. She had picked out a crib that day and Troy had put it together, it stood in May's room as of now.

"So what do you think?" May asked Gabriella.

"It is an infant's room for sure. The teddy bears are adorable," Gabriella said, running a hand over the wallpaper.

"Not too girly or boyish? I don't want to find out the sex, so I want it to be good for either one," May said apprehensively.

"Yellow is a good neutral color, like Switzerland," Gabriella said.

"You sure?" May still wasn't sure about it, "Maybe I should just find out the sex of the baby."

"No, don't it's fine Aunt May, really, Henry will love it and the baby will too," Troy said, "It has to be the paint fumes, lets get out of here and go see a movie and air out the house."

"Ok, you are probably right," May said, allowing Gabriella to lead her out of the room as Troy cracked open the window. They decided on a good-humored comedy that kept them in stitches all the way. Once back home they picked up a card game of 'Kings in the Corner' and ate ice cream with the radio on. Well, Troy and Gabriella had ice cream; May had an apple with cottage cheese, not the oddest of her combinations.

"_Every step I take_

_I get a little less afraid_

_Of giving into love_

_Love, let it out_

_Believe me when I say_

_It gets better every day_

_Once you get used to the pain_

_What you hide inside I see_

_There's a scar that's always gonna be_

_There's a past in everyone_

_You can't undo, you can't outrun"_

Sang out from the radio, and Troy was feeling it with the strong beat, and the words hit him deeply. Because it was the truth, life got better after he got used to the pain. He had built up a tolerance to it and now sometimes didn't even feel it.

"Ok, I am going to bed, you two can stay down here, just be quiet," May said winking at them. Troy helped her stand up and she walked up to her bedroom.

Troy and Gabriella started a game of slap once she was gone, "Did you here that song on the radio?" Troy asked her.

"There have been a lot of songs playing on the radio," Gabriella said, slapping the cards.

"That one that went like, '_It gets better everyday, Once you get used to the Pain_', that one?" Troy quoted.

"Yes, I did, it was good," Gabriella nodded, not really knowing where he was going with this.

"I want to find out who sings it and what album it is on, I really like it, I want to take it in with me next time I talk to Shannon, I think it really gets life," Troy said.

"Ok, so, come on," Gabriella got up and walking into the den and sat down in front of the computer. She opened up the Internet and typed the lyric into the search box. A few clicks later she read off, "Keith Urban is the artist, Love, Pain and the Whole Crazy Thing is the album, Used to the Pain is the song. We can get it tomorrow," Gabriella wrote down the information.

"Since when were you so smart?" Troy asked.

"Since always, I do this all the time when I hear songs I like," Gabriella said.

And true to the word, the duo went out and bought the CD the next day and listened to it over and over again after putting it on Troy's ipod. They were laying side by side each with a ear bud listening to song whilst staring up at the clouds in May's back yard. "Look a dragon," Troy pointed up at the sky. Gabriella didn't see it, but Troy obviously did. "See there is the nose, the eyes, the mouth with a bit of fire coming out, the ears, the body going down and then the tail there at the end," Troy traced it all out with his finger.

Both teenagers by now knew the song backwards and forwards. "Well I see a kitten right there," Gabriella pointed to a cloud above Troy's dragon. "I always wanted a kitten, but by mom is allergic to them."

"Me too! Only my dad instead of my mom," Troy said, "Oh hey I see the kitten does it like have one paw stretched out and sort of have a funny shaped eye?"

"I was making that the ear and then there is like a little crevice for the eye so it is like the kitten is squinting or sleeping," Gabriella said.

"I see it, ok, yeah it does look like it is sleeping," Troy agreed.

"Gabriella," May called from the back door, "Your mom just called and wants you to come home."

"Ok," Gabriella took out the earpiece and handed it to Troy before standing up and wiping off her pants and back. Troy stood up too, also dusting himself off. He paused the song and walked Gabriella out front to her car after May had tossed her the keys. Gabriella unlocked the car and opened the door. Troy leaned against the car as she got into the driver's seat. "I'll see you tomorrow, I'll drop by around lunch, maybe we can go out and get something or make a picnic or something," Gabriella said.

"I'll talk to May, I'm gonna be doin' some more painting this afternoon, I need to go to the paint store first," Troy nodded.

"Will you call me tonight?" Gabriella asked.

"Nine on the dot so don't be in the shower or asleep," Troy nodded, "I'll see you," he leaned down and kissed her before closing the door and watching her drive away. He walked back inside to find May writing a letter to Henry. "I'm going to go to the paint store and pick up some more paint and the trim paint so I can finish the room ok, Aunt May?" Troy told her.

"Ok, be careful," May looked up, "Will you take my car and fill it up with gas? I'll give you my credit card, it uses unleaded, so the cheap kind, usually about twelve gallons."

"I can get the card, just stay seated. I'll be back in about an hour," Troy said. He pulled out her credit card and grabbed her keys and left. He went to the paint store first and then the gas station and made on last secret stop. He parked near a small park with a big oak tree in the exact middle. "Well Andy, if you could only hear this. Everything gets better each and everyday." And he started to sing, surprisingly on key, the song he had memorized in the past day, ending with one last, "_Once you get used to the pain_."

He sighed, "It is the truth Andy, each day gets better. I hope you have gotten used to the pain just as I have, cause it isn't that bad anymore. I don't feel it anymore sometimes. I don't. And I hope you don't either. You probably are living up life and totally used to the pain. Well my Addie, I was never a fast as you. I always took a bit longer to get used to change. But I've finally done it. Two year is what it took me but I did it. I am sure you are the same way. I have finally caught back up to you. My best wishes Addie, Troy," He said quietly to himself before making his way back to Aunt May's house. Troy had only visited that tree twice since Andy had left and that was on the same date as the day the two had found out she was moving. He had only been able to go there on that day because it hurt too much to try to go there other times. But now, it didn't hurt as much and he could go back there to talk to her. And really talk to her, not a whine of why did she have to leave. But to tell her that it got better for him. And to send her the best of wishes that she was getting along the same way.

------------------

_I am going to find my way back to you_

_I am going to be fine once you're are back in my sight_

_I am going to drink you all in_

_I am going to never let you go_

_We will be together forever just as we are supposed to be_

Once I find my way back to you 

She was somewhere in the middle of nowhere Kansas on a Greyhound bus. She had left no note to her parents. And she was positive they wouldn't find her, at least not until she got there and she would have at least five hours for them to book and get on a flight there. Everything would end up exactly as she wanted it to. Everything would be ok again. She would get her life back. And it would all turn out ok. He would be waiting for her and be so happy to see her again. And tell about all the times he tried to run away back to her. And she'd tell her own stories. And his parents would see how happy they were again. And they wouldn't make her go back. They would let her live with them. Everything would be back to normal. Life would be back on track.

------------------

Wednesday, Troy, Gabriella, and May were sitting on a blanket in a park near May's house. They had made sandwiches and made a picnic complete with stereotypical picnic that May had. They also had some chips and a plate of brownies May had made that morning. "You know Henry and I had our first date as a picnic," May told them, "He was on leave for two months because his mother was having surgery. And we fell in love in two months."

"And you waited eight months to see him again after that," Troy had heard this story a dozen times.

"And the second night he was back he proposed to me. He said if I was willing to wait eight months for him, then there was no stronger love in this world. And we had a shotgun wedding before he had to go back. And I hope we live happily ever after," May had a dreamy look in her eyes. A look she often had when thinking of Henry. Troy rolled his eyes, and Gabriella just smiled.

"Would you wait eight months for me?" Troy looked at Gabriella.

"I'm not sure about eight months, but I think I waited about four or five for you already," Gabriella said.

"True, sorry about that," Troy said a little guiltily.

"Well then maybe it will mean we have stronger connection then," Gabriella said, staying away from the word love, as it was still quite a sensitive subject with Troy.

"Maybe," Troy sighed. Anything could be a maybe in life. Maybe this will happen, maybe that will happen, maybe nothing will happen. There were a lot of maybes in life. His cell phone rang loudly and he dug around in his pockets for it. "Hello?" he answered.

"Troy! Where are you right now?" It was his mother. It was odd, she never called from work.

"We are at the park, Aunt May, Gabriella and I," Troy said, looking at May and Gabriella.

"I want you to leave and go stay at Gabriella's house for the next few nights. I've already talked to her mom about it," his mom was sounding a bit desperate.

"Ok, but can I ask why?" He asked.

"I'll be over for dinner tonight and explain everything then, just do as you're told please," she was practically begging.

"Ok, ok, calm down mom, we'll go. I'll see you tonight," Troy said.

"Good, ok, I love you, Goodbye," she said.

"Love you too mom, bye," Troy hung up.

"What's wrong?" May asked, eating a brownie.

"I don't know, she was being quite cryptic. She said I needed to stay the next few nights at Gabriella's. And she'll explain everything tonight there at dinner," Troy said shrugging his shoulders before turning to Gabriella, "She said she already talked to your mom about it."

"Well I am sure that Sara has a good reason for all this hubbub, so I say we follow her directions," May said, easing into a standing position.

"Yeah, mom usually had good reasons or intentions upon her requests," Troy said standing up too. He offered Gabriella a hand up and she stood up also. Troy and Gabriella collected everything left over from the picnic and they walked back to Aunt May's house.

"Rather than packing everything up, if you are only going to be there for a few days, I have the perfect travel bag," May said opening the closet door. She dug around for a few seconds before producing a small bag. It was big enough to hold all that was needed for only a few nights stay. "It will be the bag we probably take with us to the hospital."

"I could have been good without that information Aunt May," Troy said taking the bag. He carried it upstairs with Gabriella following him. He threw in a few sets of clothes and his toothbrush before zipping it up.

"Is that all you need?" Gabriella looked at him thinking he didn't pack enough.

"Gabriella, I'm a guy, we need clothes and a toothbrush, no makeup or fifty different outfits to choose from on any given day, and we don't need to take a bajillion hair products because any soap will do. We keep it simple."

"I think you might want to take some spare boxers and maybe a pair of socks," She suggested, "But that is just my suggestion."

"I despise you sometimes, you know Miss Smarty-Pants," Troy rolled his eyes as he unzipped the bag again to toss in the items she named.

"The same to you, only you aren't Miss Smarty-Pants starting off with you aren't a girl nor the brightest bulb in the bunch," Gabriella said, holding in a stitch of laughter.

"I am going to remember that, now lets go," Troy zipped up the bag one last time and pulled her out the door, "We are going to go and follow mom's directions like good little soldiers," Troy said, hugging his Aunt May, "But I'll see you soon."

"Have fun, but remember to stay safe," May said.

"We will, bye May," Gabriella also hugged the pregnant woman. Gabriella had grown close to the woman she had just met a few days before.

"Bye Gabriella, drive safe now," They walked outside. May stood on the porch as Gabriella and Troy got into Gabriella's car, Gabriella driving. They waved as they backed out the driveway and drove down the street with the mystery hanging in the air. What is Troy's mom freaking out about? Why does he have to go to Gabriella's? Does his dad know about this? Will something affect him and torture his soul once more? Or is everything totally in the past as he thought it was? One thing was for sure, it was shaping up for an interesting night.

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**AN: And I am finished. I know what is coming, and you probably have figured it out too. And I am doing what I said wasn't going to be doing, but I think it works better now than if it had happened sooner. Leave me a review telling you what think I am will be working on the next chapter.**

**And ok, here is what everything belongs to.**

**The first italics are 'Probably Wouldn't Be This Way' By LeAnn Rimes. It was my initial inspiration for the story.**

**The second italics are my poem that got inspired by this story actually. But I have ownership to it. If you like it and want to use it, fine, but give me credit.**

**Third italics are also mine from a song that I wrote. Again, I am totally fine if you use it, but give me credit.**

**Fourth italics are Keith Urban's 'Used to the Pain'. It is a good song, listen to it, and I thought it fit.**

**Fifth italics (Man I used a lot of italics in this chapter) are mine too that I made up on the spot when writing this chapter. Once again do you need to be told that it is fine if you use as long as you give me the due credit.**


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